FICTION




A Tale of Two Witches

Mila D. Aguilar
English

In the barrio of San Roque, a witch is reputed to have lived.  Having mesmerized a native girl with the magic of her craft, she is said to have carted her away to her lair on top of the highest hill in San Roque.

Talia had arrived in the barrio distraught, but determined to overcome.  The town—her relatives, her co-teachers, those she did not especially consider her friends but declared themselves to be so—had been too much for her, bearing down heavily on her single-blessedness.  Even the principal—married, with children—had gotten into the fray, attempting to seduce her on the shallow challenge that she must prove her womanhood.

She was not about to.  Growing up under her father’s tutelage, she had learned to be independent—rather too fiercely for the town’s tastes—and at thirty-three, she was still curious about the world.  No, she was not about to give up her independence and thirst for knowledge; but yes, though she felt quite above the mediocrity of that little town, she was not a little affected by the pressures it had brought to bear upon her.

So she ended up in San Roque, choosing to farm an almost forgotten two-hectare lot left by her dead father, trying to cut links completely with her immediate past.  It was this complete cutting of links that led to her first and last fateful encounter with San Roque’s kapitan del barangay.

Ka Tiago-as he was fondly called by his sakop-was not a man to suffer rejection.  He had worked his way into the barrio people's affections, in a manner of speaking, and now immensely enjoyed his absolute hold on them.  If he had been more educated and operating in the city, he would have called himself an "organization man;" but since he was merely an elementary school graduate and barrio jefe, he prided himself in its local equivalent, that of being a pulitiko, like it ran in his blood and was his predestination.  In truth, like any city organization man, he maintained his power over the people with a heavy dose of intrigue balanced by an ever so slight dash of charm.

When Talia showed up in his house to register her presence in the barangayKapitanTiago's first reaction was to be tickled no end.  A small, stocky man with a power drive stronger than his character, it flattered him to acquire a subject with a college education, and a maestra no less.  Her face attracted him immediately.  What joy to have such a one pay homage to him after all these years of being worshipped by a bunch of big-toed grade-three numbskulls!

When Talia had made known her purpose and was properly seated on the bench in front of his rough-hewn table, Ka Tiago immediately dispatched his wife and youngest son to fetch some paper or other not a few mountain hills away, enough time for him to finish two big cigars.  Dutifully the fat woman, an inch taller than he but a third-grader nonetheless, left two glasses and a pot full of native freshly brewed coffee, already milked and sweetened with condensada, on the table, in front of themaestra.  Then off she lugged her runny-nosed son to fulfill her mission.

Presuming that he would make his catch, Ka Tiago lost no time in signing the maestra'spapers.  But Talia sensed danger in the wife and son’s easy dispatch and made ready to leave with her signed papers, saying stiffly, “Salamat, kapitan, makaalis na po." ("Thank you, kapitan, but I have to go.")

The Kapitan's cigar almost fell off his broad, dark mouth at the unfriendly response.  Nevertheless, his charm quickly overtook his surprise.

He smiled.  “O, huwag ka munang umalis, magkape ka muna.   Alam mo, dito sa atin matagal bago makuha ang papeles na iyan.  Maraming kung anu-anong rekisitos.  Pero dahil sa ikaw ay edukada, hindi man lang ako nagdalawang-isip.  Sa katotohanan, marami pa akong kailangang itanong sa iyo.  Marami tayong kailangang pag-usapan.  Kailangang mapatunayan ko na hindi ako nagkamali sa pagrerehistro sa iyo.  Alam mo naman dito…."  ("Come now, don't go yet.  Take some coffee.  You know it takes a lot of time to get those papers here-plenty of requirements.  But since you are educated, I did not even take a second thought.  In truth, I still have quite few questions to ask you.  We have much to talk about.  After all, I have to prove that I did not make a mistake in giving you your registration papers. You know how it is..")

So she stayed rooted to the bench, her back stiffening at each roundabout phrase, her eyes fixed on his ungainly nose and big mouth while he rambled on and on.  How common this toad, she began thinking, how ugly like a frog.  How like a frog he croaks.  How like a high- pitched frog.

"How old are you?" he asked.  "Thirty-three?  And not yet married?  With so many eligibles in town?  I am forty and already blessed with a dozen children.  It is good to be married; one is served.  My wife-you just met her-serves me coffee whenever I want it.  Ah, but she reached only grade three and you are edukada.  What made you want to settle in this isolated barrio?  Life in town is so much more exciting.  Someday, I myself will settle in the town, maybe to become mayor, when I have bought enough land to stop farming.  Now, I already have four tenants, but I still have to do some farming myself. But I will retire in the prime of life, move on to bigger things.”

What do I care about you, ugly man, she thought to herself, staring at his teeth reddened from chewing betel nut.  All I want is a quiet and peaceful life.

But she said nothing.

Not getting a response, he blathered on—now sitting on the stool across the table, now walking about the cement floor.

"I have worked in town myself.  In fact, I was able to save enough to buy a piece of land-this very land my house is standing on.  I will never forget the town.  You know, when I lived there, I had a girlfriend studying to be a maestra, like you.  She was also tall and thin.  She had long hair, like you.  Edukadaintelektwal.  Graceful.  Long neck.  Just like you.  But I had to go back to my barrio, because I knew in my heart that this was where I should start serving my people,” he sighed, striking his breast with his rough palm, his head bent appropriately. And sighing again, he continued wistfully, “She wouldn’t go with me.  She did not understand my cause in life.  We were compatible in everything except my cause.  And so I had to leave her.”

Talia could not have cared less about this man’s romantic past.  However, his unravelling of comparisons made her hair stand on end, not so much out of fear as out of absolute contempt.  Slowly, almost imperceptibly at every “like you,” “parang ikaw,” her head had reared.  By the end of the story her stiffening neck had stretched its full length. When, after a short pause, the kapitan added another "Talagang parang ikaw," "Just like you," she was already angry, her lips thinned to a hard straight line, her nostrils flared and expelling hot air.

Sitting now, the kapitan reached for his coffee, drawing his stool closer to the table, his dark hairy arms sliding nearer, his body leaning towards her.

"It is good you came.  Now I can talk to somebody at my own level.  My wife, you know, I didn't love her at first, but she has served me well.  But I cannot talk to her at my own level.  I only learned to love her through the years.  One gets used to it after a while.  After all she has given me so many robust children, all alive. But my girlfriend was something else, really something else."

Talia leaned her tensed back on the windowsill, moving her hands away from the tabletop to the bench, ready to go.  The Kapitan went on. "Ikaw naman, magkwento ka naman tungkol sa iyong sarili.    Ako na lang ang nagkukwento.  Paano ka naman napadpad sa lugar na ito e napakalayo sa sibilisasyon?"  ("Now what about you?  Tell me about yourself.  I'm the only one talking here!  How'd you come to a place like this, so far away from civilization?")

That was it.  A very private person to begin with, she loathed the idea of explaining to a total stranger—and what was more, a totally ugly stranger—her lifetime angst.  Without a word she stood up, taking her papers from the table.  At the table corner near the door she stopped, her head turned sideways to him, her body poised to get out, her fingers firmly on the papers.  With full contempt she looked down at the man and said curtly, “Sa akin na 'yon.  Salamat sa rehistro.  Aalis na ako."  (That's my business.  Thank you for the papers.  I am leaving.")

The kapitan's left hand was holding his cigar, his right hand on his glass of coffee.  He looked up at her and noticed for the first time her fiery eyes.  He was so surprised that she had left before the insult dawned on him.

II

The construction of her nipa hut on top of the highest hill in the barrio on her father’s land took little time.  She had hired a fast and efficient carpenter from her town to put it up.  That was the way she wanted it: as little contact as possible with the barrio people, so she could have her peace and quiet.

When the war-vintage truck that bought her things came, the barrio people and their children milled around it, curious and happy about the only new inhabitant in theirbarangay.  The women marveled, almost with fright, at the antique bed, table, chairs and baul with their baroque designs.  They had never seen anything like them before.  But aside from the basic furniture and implements necessary to conduct daily life, what occupied most of the truck were tattered boxes soggy with the rain.

Talia immediately regretted that she could bring only two haulers from her town, the driver included.  The truck could not reach the top of the hill anymore, and it was quite a trek to the house.  When the baul's turn came, she had the two haulers bring it.  But it was so heavy, and the way so steep, that two more barrio men had to come to their aid.  Talia watched them helplessly as they trudged up the hill.

She was watching thus, her back to the truck, when she saw the other men and boys already bringing a box each up the hill.  She opened her mouth and poised to wave them down but failed to utter a word.

A woman who had been standing by silently noticed her predicament.  She went up the hill and started directing the barrio men on the proper handling of the wet tattered boxes.  Talia saw the lithe, skirted form running up and down the hill, and began to breathe easily.  She had counted the boxes winding their way up; now only one was left.

She turned towards the truck to find it.  Nothing!  She felt the blood surge into her head and looked around.  The children were in a commotion.  Several boys were fighting over the privilege of bringing the box.

"Huwag! Huwag!"  ("Don't!  Don't!")  She cried frantically, her eyes all fired up.  But before she could come near them, a heavy thud arrested her movement.

It had fallen, the box had fallen apart!  Gloomily, she ran to the scattered papers, her beloved father’s precious papers.  There lay his unfinished calculations, his handwritten poems, his scientific articles.  And there, in one corner farthest from her, lay his only novel.

The children stood at bay, frightened by their deed.  They had never seen so much paper before.  The scribblings looked strange and formidable.  They had never been taught such in school. But finally their eyes all focused on the big book with its colorful cover.

It was the strangest book they had ever seen.  Dominated by various shades of green and brown with streaks of red, it seemed to represent a formidable forest, the trees all gnarled and dark and massive, their leaves huge and knotted.  Drops of blood flowed irregularly on the cavernous trunks. At the top, seeming to grow out of the forest, sprung, like the rays of the sun, three short words.  None of the children had learned to read English, and the barrio men and women who were left near the truck could hardly read.  So no one in the barrio ever knew that the three words were, simply, The Great Faith.

Before Talia could finish picking up the papers, one boy naughtily snatched the book and ran to his parents with it.  Talia’s eyes flashed with anger.  “Ibalik mo 'yan!" ("Give that back to me!")  she shouted.  But he would not, and she could only manage to grit her teeth.

It was the lithe woman, again, who came to the rescue.  Hearing Talia’s cries, she sped down the hill, in time to grab the boy by his mud-spattered shirt.  She took the book from him and, with great care, dusted it.

Then she walked over to Talia; holding the book gingerly with her two hands, she gave it to her without a word.

Talia looked into her eyes thoughtfully.  They were big, soulful eyes, eyes that looked and saw.  The woman smiled.  Her lips were small and soft looking, untainted by sorrow.  Her smile was the smile of one who understood.

III

Talia and Lisa became fast friends.

Lisa came up the hill, at first, to help put the house in order.  She wanted to be hospitable to this strange woman who had immediately upon arrival pushed the barrio folk to a distance.  At the same time the strangeness itself attracted her, mystified her, drew her daily to the house on top of the hill.

For she herself was not an ordinary barrio woman.  Taller than the rest of them, her features more those of a town lass, she stood out in their midst like a sore thumb.  Almost thirty, she had not yet married in a place where most girls have two children by the time they reach the age of sixteen.  In a barrio where even the kapitan had finished only grade six, she had by some fortuitous circumstance been sent to the town high school.  And unconscious as she was of it, she was the barrio’s most intelligent person.

Lisa learned quite a few things about the proper arrangement of furniture from Talia.  To make the most of space and give an illusion of spaciousness even in cramped quarters, Talia had explained that you must keep most furniture by the wall.  So she, Lisa, lined up the living room chairs by one wall, making the room look stiff and formidable.    “No, no, not like that,” Talia threw up her hands in exasperation.  “And, besides, there are exceptions.”

Lisa laughed heartily.  She had a laugh that rang, a laugh full of innocence and joy, like the small tingling shells that gaily signal the opening of a door to the fresh winds of May.

Talia's sad eyes lit up.  She could not help but laugh too.  The shells had tingled their way to her skin, bringing with them fresh winds to permeate her being.

Next came the planting of the fruits and vegetables.  Talia had learned the basics of planting from teaching in high school, and had read the rest from books.  But Lisa knew planting by heart, having grown up in the barrio.  So, using the special seeds Talia had bought from the agriculture bureau in her town, they planted fruits and vegetables all around the house.  Lisa corrected Talia’s book knowledge.  Talia explained to Lisa the scientific bases of her own practice.

Talia felt immeasurably satisfied in teaching and relearning at the same time.  Things she had seemed to know so well before gained an entirely new perspective, were sometimes even overturned by the supremacy of this barrio woman’s indisputable experience.  Not having been brought up with much pride, much less false pride, Talia bowed effortlessly to Lisa, who had come to help her.

But the explanations bedazzled Lisa no end.  She had never before thought that learning could go beyond high school, and though she had had before Talia’s arrival an indefinable thirst for knowledge, and had racked her brains trying to cull something from the sun, and the rain and the trees, without getting anywhere, she had never before so much as abated her thirst.  The barrio people had the most befuddling reasons for doing or not doing certain things, such as not sweeping at night so as not to lose God’s grace, or not leaving the table before the single women had finished eating, lest they never get married, or planting this or that fruit or vegetable in such a way, so that nuno sa punso, who lived in an anthill nearby (which must never be stepped on, so as not to anger its occupant), would not come to eat them.  Talia had a scientific or ethical explanation for all these.

So now here was a spring that thoroughly quenched her dry throat, a spring from which she could choose to wet her tongue or palate, or gargle or gulp down its splendor and freshness.

Talia did not miss out on this awakening.  It showed all over.  Lisa’s big soulful eyes would grow even bigger, engulfing Talia’s words and bringing them deep, deep down into her own consciousness.  Her small, soft mouth would open ever so slightly in gentle amazement, her comely upturned nose wrinkling in awe.  She would rub her stubby hands, strong and sensitive at the same time, against her skirt, asking for more knowledge, more explanations, more answers about life and the world.

So it was that Lisa came to spend more and more time in the house up the highest hill.  They began to scour Talia’s built-in bookshelves, the latter guiding her through until she was able to jump from the easiest reading matter to the more difficult.  They read about anything and everything under the sun, in bed, on the sala set, by the dining table in front of their meals.  Often they would keep the Coleman lamps burning late into the night, reading until their eyelids fell with sleep, or suddenly rocking the silence with laughter about some funny passage which one had read and shared with the other.

It was Talia's idea to spend the night out under the sky one evening when the moon was full and so many stars dotted the hemisphere that they almost crowded out each other.  She wanted to know more about this woman, how she could exist in this barrio, how she managed to spring up seemingly out of nowhere.  She herself felt a welling in her breast, a welling that had started in her abdomen and wanted to be disgorged thoroughly, cleansing, purifying, whatever it had to leave behind.

"Have you ever slept out under the night sky?"  Talia asked, rather timidly, afraid to be rejected.  "It is best to sleep on the beach, but there's no beach here.  There you could hear the waves smashing on the sand.  But here maybe it's better, because with the silence I think you can even hear the stars.  I've never tried it myself, yet, in a place like this."

And she looked into Lisa's eyes, expectantly and with trepidation.

Though Lisa was born in the barrio, she had never slept under the night sky.  On hot summer nights she had slept on the nipa-covered bamboo porch with her banig, as was the custom in the barrio, to cool off but not to listen to the stars.  The idea of listening to the stars, and with her new found friend, excited her.

"Sige, dalhin natin ang banig at unan at kumot pero magkatol tayo, dahil malamok," ("Okay, let's bring the mat and the pillow and blanket, but we'd better light a katol, too, for the mosquitoes,”) Lisa responded immediately, her eyes shining with enthusiasm.

As in their first encounter, Talia’s bated breath resumed its regular rhythm upon this demonstration of utter spontaneity.

 

AND SO IT WAS that Talia and Lisa began to know each other.

Lying under the night sky, between pointing out the big dipper, the small dipper—orang supot ni Hudas to Lisa-and looking for Sirius and the north star, each asked the other questions about her past.

Talia learned that Lisa was an adopted child, taken in by a childless couple under, and despite, mysterious circumstances.

Almost thirty years before, Lisa’s future adoptive father was walking by the highway several hills from the barrio, on his way to rent out his labor to another farm, when a bus stopped some meters away from him.  A tall and comely young woman got off the bus.  She was holding a box.  When the bus had roared away, she put down her box and walked to the other side of the road.  The man passed by the box and seemed to hear the cry of a baby.  But not thinking that anything extraordinary was happening, he went his way.

He had walked quite a few puffs of his cigarette when a bus going the other way sped by, and seemed to stop.  Casually he turned around, expecting the young woman to go up to the bus with her box.  She did, but he spied the box still lying on the dewy grass on the other side of the road.  He ran after the bus, trying to flag it down, waving wildly, shouting with all his might.  But the bus engine must have been too noisy, because it sped right off.   

The man then ran to the box in an effort to find an address that was not there; instead, he discovered a baby cradled in a comfortable swathe of baby clothes.

Since the man and his wife were childless after twenty years of marriage, they decided to adopt that baby.

"And how did you find out you were adopted?"  Talia asked.

"Everyone in the barrio knows."

"I wonder how it feels to be adopted?"

"Nothing.  They are my parents as far as I'm concerned."

"Do you love them?"

"Very much.  They could feel for me.  My mother has always said if I feel that it is time to go, I should go.  They won't stop me, because they know I am not meant for the barrio.  No one knows that I go to town secretly; only they know.  They sacrificed much just to send me to the town high school.  They wanted to send me to college, but they couldn't afford it.  My father himself had worked in town trying to finish high school, but he got married early to his barrio sweetheart, my mother.

"But why do you go to town secretly?"

"Because I am always looking for something.  I don't know what.  I have to do it secretly because here a dalaga is bad if she goes alone.  And I can’t always come with other people; not too many travel here because of the difficulty.  There is a forest path, much shorter, right at the back of this house, but the others won’t take it.  They say there are creatures there — aswang and tikbalang."

And then Lisa whispered furtively, “Wala naman e.  Doon ako dumadaan." ("There aren't any such things.  I've been through that forest path many times.")

Talia laughed.  How light she felt with Lisa!  “May plano ka bang umalis dito?" (Do you have any plans of leaving this place?")  she asked.

"Oo! Gusto kong tumira sa malaking siyudad." ("Yes, I'd like to live in the big city,") Lisa answered without a second thought, her eyes lighting up.  "Sasamahan mo ako?" ("Will you come with me?")

And their eyes, afloat on their new understanding, met.

"What about you," Lisa asked, "Did you not come here to stay?"

Talia came back to herself, her agonies.  “No,” she answered.  “Just for some peace and quiet, just for a while.  I would like to write.  Then there are some experiments my father was working on when he was alive.”

She thought about her father.  He was not a great scientist, she told Lisa.  He was more of a writer, but he was interested in everything.  So he experimented and read much about science.  But most of all he wrote.  “He was a good man, unlike any I have ever known.  He was a teacher by profession, but he and my mother were thrifty to a fault, so he was able to acquire enough to assure his children some financial stability.  I was the last child, born ten years after my elder sister.  I practically grew up alone.  Perhaps that is why I learned to write.”

"Your father must have been like you," Lisa said.

"I was molded in his image," she answered.  "Even my mother molded me in his image.  They brought me up not to think of my gender.  I was always a person.  It was easier when I was young; nobody demanded the subservience of a woman from me.  Besides, in my college years I was in Manila, where no one minds anyone.  But as I grew older everyone started to ask, why aren't you married yet?  Your intelligence is going to waste.  Why do you argue so much?  You're a woman.  Be feminine.  Don't think.  Don't hanker after so much knowledge.  Just be a woman and take care of your man.  Let him do the hankering.  I couldn't take it."

As she spoke, Talia's eyes wandered farther and farther into the distance, into the space between the stars.

"I have always dreamed of a nether world where all is true and just and beautiful.  I think that is why I became a writer, why I would rather be holed up on top of a hill, observing people, not talking to them.  I am looking for something myself-a heaven, or maybe just a haven.  Maybe I will end up writing satire," she laughed to herself.

Talia paused, her eyes still reaching for the space between the stars, her voice becoming even more distant.

"I don't think many people understand me.  I must be too complicated.  In fact, I have never found anyone who could understand me."

She turned to Lisa, who was looking at her sympathetically but, somehow, vacantly.  It is too much for her, Talia thought.  It is not yet time.  Someday she will see, but not now, it is too soon.  Besides I am still too mixed up myself.

Feeling satisfied enough with having unburdened herself, she changed the subject, and told her friend about the principal, and the other men, all of a kind.

"Akala ko iba na rito.  Mas masahol pa yata.  Yung kapitan na ‘yan…." ("I thought it would be different here.  Maybe it's even worse.  That kapitan..")

Lisa laughed. "Kahit sa akin nagtangka na rin ‘yan.  Pero hindi siya makaabante.  Pinakamatanda na kasi ang Itay at tinitingala rito.  Habang buhay ang Itay, wala siyang magagawa.  Kaya kinukuha na lang sa tingin.  At saka, ang ginagawa ko na lang, umiiwas."  ("He's tried that with me too, but he couldn't make base one.  That's because my father is the oldest man here and respected by all.  While my father lives, his hands are bound.  He could only stand and stare.  Besides, all I do is avoid him.")

Then pausing to think, she continued, “Pero tama ka.  Ganyan nga rito.  Kailangang magpailalim ka.  Hindi lang nila ako magalaw, dahil para bang naiiba ako sa kanila." ("But you are right.  That's the way it is here: a woman has to be submissive.  They just can't touch me, because I don't seem to be one of them.")

Their eyes met again: Talia’s looking exasperated; Lisa’s all wonder at the new discovery.  But they were both smiling now.

"Ang supot ni Hudas, tingnan mo, kumikinang, o!" ("Look, Judas' money bag is twinkling! ")   Lisa laughed, pointing up at the sky.  She looked back at Talia and laughed again.  "Pero alam mo, kung naiiba ako, mas naiiba ka yata.   Nagtataka ang lahat sa ‘yo, kahit babae at bata."  ("But, you know, if I am different, you are even more so.")

"Bakit?"  ("Why?")

"Iba ka kasi.  Hindi ka nakikisalamuha.  Hindi ka nagbabahay-bahay.  Hindi ka matsismis, tulad ng ibang babae." ("Because you are different.  You don't mix.  You don't socialize.  You don't engage in gossip like other women.")  She looked at Talia carefully, afraid to hurt her.

But Talia's reply was philosophical.  "Wala akong magagawa.  Iba ang pakay ko sa buhay."  ("I can't do anything about that.  I have a different purpose in life.")

"Oo nga," ("Of course,") she replied approvingly, stroking Talia's arm.  "Maiba ako, ano yung nasa baul?" ("By the way, what is in your trunk?")

"Chemicals and vials for experiments, a laboratory set, a slide projector and slides from my college days, sensitive equipment in general," Talia answered.  It took some time to explain to Lisa what these were for, but Lisa showed she understood, even if she may not have imagined their full use.

"But why do you ask?"  Talia wondered aloud.  Lisa had a difficult time explaining the curiosity, because it was not her own.

"You see, the people in the barrio, they have no secrets from each other.  They've never seen such things.  Even your furniture looks strange to them.  Your father's book, they think it's something about..  They think you're different.  They have their suspicions.  They think you're-you know - another kind of creature."

"What?"  Talia pressed.  "What do they think I am?"  She looked searchingly into Lisa's big eyes.

Lisa's eyes softened.  She could hardly look at Talia, so afraid was she to see the hurt.  She lay on her back and looked at the full moon, now high up in the sky.

"They think you're a witch," Lisa said, her voice trailing off.

The silence seemed an insuperable barrier.  Then Talia broke into a loud laugh, and Lisa could look at her again.

"They burn witches at the stake, don't they?"  Talia asked softly, thoughtful again,    looking into the soulful eyes for succor.  "What do you think?" she finally managed to ask timidly, after a long pause.

Lisa looked back into the dark sad eyes of her friend.  She put her hand on the other’s cheek, let it lay there softly, and whispered with the greatest tenderness, “As long as you’re with me you need never worry.”  And then she kissed Talia, beside the hand she had lain on her cheek, the kiss glancing the side of Talia’s lips.

And so that night they lay, the two women, in peaceful sleep, holding on to each other’s hands, the light of the full moon shining high above them.

IV

When Ka Tiago had heard all the salacious details of the arrival of the maestra, he immediately felt the beginning of his triumph.  Having digested the insult hurled at him, he had vowed revenge—but a revenge without confrontation, like the man without character that he was.

The barrio residents came to him one by one, confused at what they had seen. “What is she?” they asked.  “How did she get here?”

And he answered in a righteous tone, “Well, you know, we live in a democracy, and everyone is innocent until proven guilty.  Everyone has the right of domicile.  The title to her land was genuine, and all her papers were in order, so of course, I had no choice but to approve her registration.  But nothing is permanent.  Everything changes.  After all, the registration is only for a year.  And if there is cause, we can expel her or even jail her.”

He conveniently failed to mention, of course, that she was a maestra, for that fact alone would have been enough to reverse the people’s observations.  Instead he made haste to add, “Pero ano nga ba ang nakita ninyo?"  ("But what was it you saw?")

And each told his story.

One noticed that she flailed her arms in a way he had never seen before, because, it seems, she did not want anyone to see the contents of her boxes.

"Flailed her arms-like a bat?" the kapitan asked, with perfect timing, in the proper conspiratorial tone.

"Yes, yes, like a bat!  Even her eyes were all afire like a bat's," the resident answered, the image now indelibly printed in his mind.

Another told of the giant book with the horrid creature on the cover, which his nephew had seen and related to his mother, the storyteller’s sister-in-law.  The strange scribblings nearly jumped off the yellowed pages, he added.

"You don't think-witchcraft.  You mean books and papers on witchcraft?"  the kapitanasked, seemingly with hesitation.

"Witchcraft-oh no!  Yes!  It couldn't be anything but witchcraft!" exclaimed the interlocutor.

A third described the awesome furniture with the mysterious designs, a description he had picked up from the wife of his cousin, who had heard it from her neighbor.

"The same designs as the books and papers on witchcraft?" the kapitan suggested, moving his cigar as if he were drawing the carvings in the air, in front of the man’s eyes.

"Yes, they must have been!  Of course they were!" the man gasped, dizzy from following the cigar's circled route.

One of the men who had carried the baul related its awesome weight.  “As heavy as lead,” he said.

"What?  There was a dead person inside?" the kapitan asked, sending a wave of recognition into the man’s eyes.  “Are you sure it was only one dead person?  Not many chopped to size?”

And the reporter shuddered at what, in his mind, already was.

After each visit, the kapitan sat back on his rough wooden wall in self-satisfaction, one foot at a level with his ass on the bedroom bamboo floor, one hand on his knee holding a lighted cigar stub, the other leg hanging down freely over the cement of the combined sala-dining room-kitchen.  He was right in pretending to be busy at the farm upon the maestra's arrival.  Not having been an eyewitness to the event, he now merely served to crystallize the people’s opinions.  Moreover, the people came to him; and he took great care to talk to each one separately, simply suggesting conclusions to what each reported.  He would continue to stay away, and let his men and the other barrio folk do the spying and the work of avenging his ego for him.

So they came everyday-sometimes twice a day, for weeks.

The very first reports after the incident were of the increasing frequency of Lisa’s visits to the “witch.”  It had become an established fact, after each talk with the kapitan, that Talia was a witch.  Those who were present at her arrival recalled, in hindsight, how Talia and Lisa’s eyes had locked while Lisa was handing the book to the witch and how that look must have been the beginning of a hypnotic trance that kept Lisa coming back daily to the house on the highest hill for longer and longer hours, until she even slept there nights.  Others reported unholy laughter in the dead of night, laughter that rocked the trees near their homes.  Still others saw light as bright as the sun issuing from the hill, so bright it could be seen mountains away till the wee hours of the morning.  All this occurred on the nights that Lisa stayed with the witch.

Then finally, the tanod sent by Ka Tiago to spy on the two came to say that he had seen them sleeping on the grass under the full moon, that the witch had planted a death kiss on the lips of the poor girl, and that he had left them in an even deadlier embrace and scurried off, lest they turn without warning into tikbalang.

These reports, especially the last, stung the kapitan to the quick and fueled his ire.  It had been bad enough that Talia had deflated his ego, the witch.  Now she would even best him in the purely male game of winning a woman he had sought to woo.  She was a witch indeed, he managed to convince himself.  Otherwise, how could any woman be the better of a man?

If the kapitan had been braver, he would immediately have laid siege to the house on top of the hill upon hearing of this insult of insults to his manhood.  But he happened to be a coward, intrigue his only special capacity.  So, he chose to wait out his revenge.

The only step the kapitan took now was to warn the barrio folk not to tell Lisa’s adoptive parents about their suspicions until the evidence of witchcraft was beyond doubt—on the pretext that they might, without meaning to, send the old folks to their graves against God’s will.  But in truth, the kapitan wanted to prevent the old folks from hearing of the intrigue and therefore foiling it.  Instead he advised them to win back Lisa in any way they could by diverting her to more godly pursuits.  Why not invite her to the fiesta in town, he suggested to one.  Or involve her in the cleanliness drive, he told another.  Talk to her, make friends with her, he urged a third.  Warn her about what she’s getting into.

And so it was that Lisa came to know what the people thought about her friend.  Divert her, however, they could not.  The months passed by, and the fruits and vegetables grew bigger than any the barrio had seen.  And there lay added evidence of witchcraft—for who had ever seen squash as large as huts and papayas big enough to fill one table? 

But Lisa started to stay on the hill for days and nights on end, barely going home to her parents.

The kapitan's fated stroke of luck, however, did come one stormy night.

Talia and Lisa had been to see the latter’s parents and had just finished eating supper.  The man commended his adopted daughter for having chosen such a fine friend.  Suddenly, Lisa seemed to hear, through the storm, the muffled cries of their neighbor from another hill a short distance away.  She knew it was one month before Daling’s time.  She’d been left alone by her husband, who’d gone to town to buy their sari-sari store supplies.  Daling had two children with her, and one of the cries seemed to be that of the elder child.

Lisa told the party of her suspicions and immediately pulled Talia to the rescue.  The old man advised that they go straight to the place, for the komadrona was in the other barrio, waiting on another patient.  But the walk was slippery and the mud knee-deep.  So, when they reached the house, Daling was already unconscious on the floor, the baby out and motionless, its umbilical cord unremoved.

"Kalalabas lang ba?"  ("Has it just come out?")  Talia immediately asked the elder child.  But he was one of the children who'd been present at her arrival and had heard all the horror stories.  He paled upon seeing Talia and remained mute and plastered to the wall throughout.

They could do nothing but revive the poor woman.  Talia cut the umbilical cord and cleaned up the baby and the mess.

When Daling came to and saw Lisa, she was relieved.  Lisa told her gently that her baby had died, having been born in the most dangerous month, as Talia had explained while cleaning up.  But Daling espied Talia from the corner of her eyes and became hysterical.  Soon her two children joined the hysteria.

Afraid to cause more harm to the family, Talia and Lisa left hurriedly.

The next day, talk of the witch’s latest deed was rife in the barrio.  She had sucked the blood of the baby, it was said, and that was why it died.  She would have sucked the blood of the pregnant woman too, if the woman had not by some good fortune regained her consciousness and shouted her lungs out.  And Lisa was there; she must have sucked some blood already.  Now, she too was a witch!

When Daling's husband got off the bus from town, he was immediately met by the rumormongers-about a dozen in all.  Inflamed, he proceeded without much ado to thekapitan's house, trailed by the rumormongers.  “It’s time we did something,” he demanded, backed up by a chorus.  “They have already taken a life.  It is time we took theirs.”

The kapitan raised his hands to silence them.  “Okay, okay, if you are with me, I am with you.  Let us plan this thing very, very carefully.  Let us be sure we get them.”  At that he stuck out his fist and made a back-handed jab.

The small crowd cheered.  The kapitan was their hero.

V

The old man finally heard about the rumors from the hysterical Daling.  He tried to explain to her that he had talked to Talia over dinner, rather lengthily, and that he thought she was a fine woman, chaste and pure of mind.

But it was too late.  She remained unconvinced and merely stammered that the witches deserved to be killed by the barrio people.  Yes, even now, the latter were with the kapitan planning the witches' demise.  The couple should never have adopted that baby.  Maybe she was, in truth, a witch's daughter just waiting for another witch to take her.

The old man lost no time running to the house on top of the highest hill.  “Umalis na kayo," ("You have to get out here,") he advised.  "Kilala ko ang mga taong baryo.    Hindi na sila mapakikiusapan.  Kung sana sinabi ninyo sa akin ito nang mas maaga, hindi na ito nangyari.  Kung sana may nagsabi sa akin…."  ("I know these people.  They cannot be prevailed upon.  If you had only told me earlier, this would not have happened.  If someone had only told me..")

But it was too late, and all he could do was entrust his dear adopted daughter to the hand of God.

"Harinawa'y pagpalain kayo ng Diyos, saan man kayo magpunta," ("May God bless you, wherever you go.")  he said as he blessed the two women on his way out.

The news of having been blamed for the death of Daling’s baby hurt Talia to the core.  Hot tears streamed down her cheeks as Lisa held her head to her breast.  But there was no time to be hurt; the danger was too close.

"It has come," Lisa told her gently, stroking her hair.  "Now we have to leave."

"But my father's legacy!  I cannot leave it behind!"  she cried.  "It is precious to me!"

Lisa stopped to think.  Talia was right.  But how could they leave safely with all that baggage?  Maybe Talia could let go of most of the readings, except for the novel and her father’s papers.  The kitchen things and even the clothes were surely dispensable.  But what about the big bulky furniture?  And the baul?

"Are the contents of the baul precious to you?" Lisa asked.

"I could buy them again in the city, after some saving up,"   Talia answered.

"Then all we need is a few days to hold them off.  If only we had something to hold them off," Lisa thought aloud, her eyes fixed on an indeterminate distance.  "If we had a carabao and a cart, we could easily drag those things through the forest.  The way there is not so steep.  It's not so hard to pass through the forest, you know.  Even easier than climbing this hill.  They don't know that.  And right after the forest is an abandoned logging road where the truck could wait."

"Hold them off?"  Talia asked, drying her cheeks now, her reason assuming control.  "The only way to hold them off is to scare them off."

Almost simultaneously they turned to each other, a glint of recognition flashing between them as their eyes met.

"Of course!"  Talia laughed.  "What better way to scare them off!  Now is the best time to put my knowledge of chemistry to a test.  Open the baul.  Let me get the key.”

And so it was, that while Talia and Lisa ran through the forest and sped to town to arrange for the carabao and the truck and the haulers, the barrio folk thought that the two witches were still in the house on top of the highest hill.

Attempting to attack the hut that night, the barrio men and some brave women, armed with sticks and stones, were suddenly assaulted by sparks that flew and fire that blew, in all directions, such that they could not so much as get near the top of the hill.  If they had been a little more observant, they would have noticed that one of their own had tripped on a thin wire strung through the front perimeter, at mid-base.

Talia and Lisa came back the next day with the haulers and other equipment to find that their contraption had worked. Smiling and giggling like little girls, they packed up, mixing, stringing together still another contraption.  At nightfall they started to set out on their journey.  It was already morning when they finished hauling the last of the furniture to the truck on the abandoned logging road.  Finally seated in the truck, they ordered the driver to speed off in the direction of the highway.

The kapitan and the barrio folk had not attacked that night.  They were feverishly repairing their weapons.  This time they aimed not to fail.

They launched their last attack the night after.  Not far from the base of the hill, they were met by the same crackle and whoosh of sparks and fire.

But they were prepared.  Undaunted, the hardiest men continued their advance, and at the appropriate distance, just above mid-base, lit torches and strung them to sturdy bows, and aimed.  Fire flew to the nipa roof, setting it aflame.

Quickly the whole party ran up the hill.  But hardly had they reached the top, flames almost on the walls of the hut now, when another horrid thing happened.  On the tree a short distance from the hut glowed a terrible image, the very same the children had described to be on the giant book, without the inscriptions.  It seemed to float in the air, rippling with the wind.  Shortly sparks and fire flew again, issuing from the mysterious vegetable patch.  Heavy mist flowed from the ground, thickest where there were mud puddles.

The barrio folk stood in awe, spears and bolos in hand, not daring to go any nearer.  The kapitan slithered away to a distance, inconspicuously.  Meanwhile, the fire they had thrown started to engulf the house, lending the floating image an even more frightening orange hue, as of flames eating up a whole forest.

And then the hut suddenly blew apart.  Everyone scampered for cover.

When the kapitan let go of his head and emerged from the bush where he had run for cover, it was all over.  Nothing was left of the hut.  He strode up the hill like a conqueror, his mouth still biting a cigar, his thick lips stretched to their broadest width.  From the top of the hill he surveyed what he thought was his triumph.

Nothing was left of the evil witches, he reported later at the munisipyo.  “The only things that remained were broken shards of burnt glass, still hot with the fire we had thrown, and wire and tattered pieces of white cloth, all used by the witches for their blood-curdling activities.  We have burned them to a crisp.”

AND SO IT WAS bruited about in the barrio of San Roque that two witches had sipped the blood of a newborn infant, and this was more than the kapitan and the people of San Roque could stand, so that the kapitan, who had been good enough to leave them be for a good long while, burned the two witches to an unrecognizable crisp.


A Tale of Two Witches

Mila D. Aguilar
English

In the barrio of San Roque, a witch is reputed to have lived.  Having mesmerized a native girl with the magic of her craft, she is said to have carted her away to her lair on top of the highest hill in San Roque.

Talia had arrived in the barrio distraught, but determined to overcome.  The town—her relatives, her co-teachers, those she did not especially consider her friends but declared themselves to be so—had been too much for her, bearing down heavily on her single-blessedness.  Even the principal—married, with children—had gotten into the fray, attempting to seduce her on the shallow challenge that she must prove her womanhood.

She was not about to.  Growing up under her father’s tutelage, she had learned to be independent—rather too fiercely for the town’s tastes—and at thirty-three, she was still curious about the world.  No, she was not about to give up her independence and thirst for knowledge; but yes, though she felt quite above the mediocrity of that little town, she was not a little affected by the pressures it had brought to bear upon her.

So she ended up in San Roque, choosing to farm an almost forgotten two-hectare lot left by her dead father, trying to cut links completely with her immediate past.  It was this complete cutting of links that led to her first and last fateful encounter with San Roque’s kapitan del barangay.

Ka Tiago-as he was fondly called by his sakop-was not a man to suffer rejection.  He had worked his way into the barrio people's affections, in a manner of speaking, and now immensely enjoyed his absolute hold on them.  If he had been more educated and operating in the city, he would have called himself an "organization man;" but since he was merely an elementary school graduate and barrio jefe, he prided himself in its local equivalent, that of being a pulitiko, like it ran in his blood and was his predestination.  In truth, like any city organization man, he maintained his power over the people with a heavy dose of intrigue balanced by an ever so slight dash of charm.

When Talia showed up in his house to register her presence in the barangayKapitanTiago's first reaction was to be tickled no end.  A small, stocky man with a power drive stronger than his character, it flattered him to acquire a subject with a college education, and a maestra no less.  Her face attracted him immediately.  What joy to have such a one pay homage to him after all these years of being worshipped by a bunch of big-toed grade-three numbskulls!

When Talia had made known her purpose and was properly seated on the bench in front of his rough-hewn table, Ka Tiago immediately dispatched his wife and youngest son to fetch some paper or other not a few mountain hills away, enough time for him to finish two big cigars.  Dutifully the fat woman, an inch taller than he but a third-grader nonetheless, left two glasses and a pot full of native freshly brewed coffee, already milked and sweetened with condensada, on the table, in front of themaestra.  Then off she lugged her runny-nosed son to fulfill her mission.

Presuming that he would make his catch, Ka Tiago lost no time in signing the maestra'spapers.  But Talia sensed danger in the wife and son’s easy dispatch and made ready to leave with her signed papers, saying stiffly, “Salamat, kapitan, makaalis na po." ("Thank you, kapitan, but I have to go.")

The Kapitan's cigar almost fell off his broad, dark mouth at the unfriendly response.  Nevertheless, his charm quickly overtook his surprise.

He smiled.  “O, huwag ka munang umalis, magkape ka muna.   Alam mo, dito sa atin matagal bago makuha ang papeles na iyan.  Maraming kung anu-anong rekisitos.  Pero dahil sa ikaw ay edukada, hindi man lang ako nagdalawang-isip.  Sa katotohanan, marami pa akong kailangang itanong sa iyo.  Marami tayong kailangang pag-usapan.  Kailangang mapatunayan ko na hindi ako nagkamali sa pagrerehistro sa iyo.  Alam mo naman dito…."  ("Come now, don't go yet.  Take some coffee.  You know it takes a lot of time to get those papers here-plenty of requirements.  But since you are educated, I did not even take a second thought.  In truth, I still have quite few questions to ask you.  We have much to talk about.  After all, I have to prove that I did not make a mistake in giving you your registration papers. You know how it is..")

So she stayed rooted to the bench, her back stiffening at each roundabout phrase, her eyes fixed on his ungainly nose and big mouth while he rambled on and on.  How common this toad, she began thinking, how ugly like a frog.  How like a frog he croaks.  How like a high- pitched frog.

"How old are you?" he asked.  "Thirty-three?  And not yet married?  With so many eligibles in town?  I am forty and already blessed with a dozen children.  It is good to be married; one is served.  My wife-you just met her-serves me coffee whenever I want it.  Ah, but she reached only grade three and you are edukada.  What made you want to settle in this isolated barrio?  Life in town is so much more exciting.  Someday, I myself will settle in the town, maybe to become mayor, when I have bought enough land to stop farming.  Now, I already have four tenants, but I still have to do some farming myself. But I will retire in the prime of life, move on to bigger things.”

What do I care about you, ugly man, she thought to herself, staring at his teeth reddened from chewing betel nut.  All I want is a quiet and peaceful life.

But she said nothing.

Not getting a response, he blathered on—now sitting on the stool across the table, now walking about the cement floor.

"I have worked in town myself.  In fact, I was able to save enough to buy a piece of land-this very land my house is standing on.  I will never forget the town.  You know, when I lived there, I had a girlfriend studying to be a maestra, like you.  She was also tall and thin.  She had long hair, like you.  Edukadaintelektwal.  Graceful.  Long neck.  Just like you.  But I had to go back to my barrio, because I knew in my heart that this was where I should start serving my people,” he sighed, striking his breast with his rough palm, his head bent appropriately. And sighing again, he continued wistfully, “She wouldn’t go with me.  She did not understand my cause in life.  We were compatible in everything except my cause.  And so I had to leave her.”

Talia could not have cared less about this man’s romantic past.  However, his unravelling of comparisons made her hair stand on end, not so much out of fear as out of absolute contempt.  Slowly, almost imperceptibly at every “like you,” “parang ikaw,” her head had reared.  By the end of the story her stiffening neck had stretched its full length. When, after a short pause, the kapitan added another "Talagang parang ikaw," "Just like you," she was already angry, her lips thinned to a hard straight line, her nostrils flared and expelling hot air.

Sitting now, the kapitan reached for his coffee, drawing his stool closer to the table, his dark hairy arms sliding nearer, his body leaning towards her.

"It is good you came.  Now I can talk to somebody at my own level.  My wife, you know, I didn't love her at first, but she has served me well.  But I cannot talk to her at my own level.  I only learned to love her through the years.  One gets used to it after a while.  After all she has given me so many robust children, all alive. But my girlfriend was something else, really something else."

Talia leaned her tensed back on the windowsill, moving her hands away from the tabletop to the bench, ready to go.  The Kapitan went on. "Ikaw naman, magkwento ka naman tungkol sa iyong sarili.    Ako na lang ang nagkukwento.  Paano ka naman napadpad sa lugar na ito e napakalayo sa sibilisasyon?"  ("Now what about you?  Tell me about yourself.  I'm the only one talking here!  How'd you come to a place like this, so far away from civilization?")

That was it.  A very private person to begin with, she loathed the idea of explaining to a total stranger—and what was more, a totally ugly stranger—her lifetime angst.  Without a word she stood up, taking her papers from the table.  At the table corner near the door she stopped, her head turned sideways to him, her body poised to get out, her fingers firmly on the papers.  With full contempt she looked down at the man and said curtly, “Sa akin na 'yon.  Salamat sa rehistro.  Aalis na ako."  (That's my business.  Thank you for the papers.  I am leaving.")

The kapitan's left hand was holding his cigar, his right hand on his glass of coffee.  He looked up at her and noticed for the first time her fiery eyes.  He was so surprised that she had left before the insult dawned on him.

II

The construction of her nipa hut on top of the highest hill in the barrio on her father’s land took little time.  She had hired a fast and efficient carpenter from her town to put it up.  That was the way she wanted it: as little contact as possible with the barrio people, so she could have her peace and quiet.

When the war-vintage truck that bought her things came, the barrio people and their children milled around it, curious and happy about the only new inhabitant in theirbarangay.  The women marveled, almost with fright, at the antique bed, table, chairs and baul with their baroque designs.  They had never seen anything like them before.  But aside from the basic furniture and implements necessary to conduct daily life, what occupied most of the truck were tattered boxes soggy with the rain.

Talia immediately regretted that she could bring only two haulers from her town, the driver included.  The truck could not reach the top of the hill anymore, and it was quite a trek to the house.  When the baul's turn came, she had the two haulers bring it.  But it was so heavy, and the way so steep, that two more barrio men had to come to their aid.  Talia watched them helplessly as they trudged up the hill.

She was watching thus, her back to the truck, when she saw the other men and boys already bringing a box each up the hill.  She opened her mouth and poised to wave them down but failed to utter a word.

A woman who had been standing by silently noticed her predicament.  She went up the hill and started directing the barrio men on the proper handling of the wet tattered boxes.  Talia saw the lithe, skirted form running up and down the hill, and began to breathe easily.  She had counted the boxes winding their way up; now only one was left.

She turned towards the truck to find it.  Nothing!  She felt the blood surge into her head and looked around.  The children were in a commotion.  Several boys were fighting over the privilege of bringing the box.

"Huwag! Huwag!"  ("Don't!  Don't!")  She cried frantically, her eyes all fired up.  But before she could come near them, a heavy thud arrested her movement.

It had fallen, the box had fallen apart!  Gloomily, she ran to the scattered papers, her beloved father’s precious papers.  There lay his unfinished calculations, his handwritten poems, his scientific articles.  And there, in one corner farthest from her, lay his only novel.

The children stood at bay, frightened by their deed.  They had never seen so much paper before.  The scribblings looked strange and formidable.  They had never been taught such in school. But finally their eyes all focused on the big book with its colorful cover.

It was the strangest book they had ever seen.  Dominated by various shades of green and brown with streaks of red, it seemed to represent a formidable forest, the trees all gnarled and dark and massive, their leaves huge and knotted.  Drops of blood flowed irregularly on the cavernous trunks. At the top, seeming to grow out of the forest, sprung, like the rays of the sun, three short words.  None of the children had learned to read English, and the barrio men and women who were left near the truck could hardly read.  So no one in the barrio ever knew that the three words were, simply, The Great Faith.

Before Talia could finish picking up the papers, one boy naughtily snatched the book and ran to his parents with it.  Talia’s eyes flashed with anger.  “Ibalik mo 'yan!" ("Give that back to me!")  she shouted.  But he would not, and she could only manage to grit her teeth.

It was the lithe woman, again, who came to the rescue.  Hearing Talia’s cries, she sped down the hill, in time to grab the boy by his mud-spattered shirt.  She took the book from him and, with great care, dusted it.

Then she walked over to Talia; holding the book gingerly with her two hands, she gave it to her without a word.

Talia looked into her eyes thoughtfully.  They were big, soulful eyes, eyes that looked and saw.  The woman smiled.  Her lips were small and soft looking, untainted by sorrow.  Her smile was the smile of one who understood.

III

Talia and Lisa became fast friends.

Lisa came up the hill, at first, to help put the house in order.  She wanted to be hospitable to this strange woman who had immediately upon arrival pushed the barrio folk to a distance.  At the same time the strangeness itself attracted her, mystified her, drew her daily to the house on top of the hill.

For she herself was not an ordinary barrio woman.  Taller than the rest of them, her features more those of a town lass, she stood out in their midst like a sore thumb.  Almost thirty, she had not yet married in a place where most girls have two children by the time they reach the age of sixteen.  In a barrio where even the kapitan had finished only grade six, she had by some fortuitous circumstance been sent to the town high school.  And unconscious as she was of it, she was the barrio’s most intelligent person.

Lisa learned quite a few things about the proper arrangement of furniture from Talia.  To make the most of space and give an illusion of spaciousness even in cramped quarters, Talia had explained that you must keep most furniture by the wall.  So she, Lisa, lined up the living room chairs by one wall, making the room look stiff and formidable.    “No, no, not like that,” Talia threw up her hands in exasperation.  “And, besides, there are exceptions.”

Lisa laughed heartily.  She had a laugh that rang, a laugh full of innocence and joy, like the small tingling shells that gaily signal the opening of a door to the fresh winds of May.

Talia's sad eyes lit up.  She could not help but laugh too.  The shells had tingled their way to her skin, bringing with them fresh winds to permeate her being.

Next came the planting of the fruits and vegetables.  Talia had learned the basics of planting from teaching in high school, and had read the rest from books.  But Lisa knew planting by heart, having grown up in the barrio.  So, using the special seeds Talia had bought from the agriculture bureau in her town, they planted fruits and vegetables all around the house.  Lisa corrected Talia’s book knowledge.  Talia explained to Lisa the scientific bases of her own practice.

Talia felt immeasurably satisfied in teaching and relearning at the same time.  Things she had seemed to know so well before gained an entirely new perspective, were sometimes even overturned by the supremacy of this barrio woman’s indisputable experience.  Not having been brought up with much pride, much less false pride, Talia bowed effortlessly to Lisa, who had come to help her.

But the explanations bedazzled Lisa no end.  She had never before thought that learning could go beyond high school, and though she had had before Talia’s arrival an indefinable thirst for knowledge, and had racked her brains trying to cull something from the sun, and the rain and the trees, without getting anywhere, she had never before so much as abated her thirst.  The barrio people had the most befuddling reasons for doing or not doing certain things, such as not sweeping at night so as not to lose God’s grace, or not leaving the table before the single women had finished eating, lest they never get married, or planting this or that fruit or vegetable in such a way, so that nuno sa punso, who lived in an anthill nearby (which must never be stepped on, so as not to anger its occupant), would not come to eat them.  Talia had a scientific or ethical explanation for all these.

So now here was a spring that thoroughly quenched her dry throat, a spring from which she could choose to wet her tongue or palate, or gargle or gulp down its splendor and freshness.

Talia did not miss out on this awakening.  It showed all over.  Lisa’s big soulful eyes would grow even bigger, engulfing Talia’s words and bringing them deep, deep down into her own consciousness.  Her small, soft mouth would open ever so slightly in gentle amazement, her comely upturned nose wrinkling in awe.  She would rub her stubby hands, strong and sensitive at the same time, against her skirt, asking for more knowledge, more explanations, more answers about life and the world.

So it was that Lisa came to spend more and more time in the house up the highest hill.  They began to scour Talia’s built-in bookshelves, the latter guiding her through until she was able to jump from the easiest reading matter to the more difficult.  They read about anything and everything under the sun, in bed, on the sala set, by the dining table in front of their meals.  Often they would keep the Coleman lamps burning late into the night, reading until their eyelids fell with sleep, or suddenly rocking the silence with laughter about some funny passage which one had read and shared with the other.

It was Talia's idea to spend the night out under the sky one evening when the moon was full and so many stars dotted the hemisphere that they almost crowded out each other.  She wanted to know more about this woman, how she could exist in this barrio, how she managed to spring up seemingly out of nowhere.  She herself felt a welling in her breast, a welling that had started in her abdomen and wanted to be disgorged thoroughly, cleansing, purifying, whatever it had to leave behind.

"Have you ever slept out under the night sky?"  Talia asked, rather timidly, afraid to be rejected.  "It is best to sleep on the beach, but there's no beach here.  There you could hear the waves smashing on the sand.  But here maybe it's better, because with the silence I think you can even hear the stars.  I've never tried it myself, yet, in a place like this."

And she looked into Lisa's eyes, expectantly and with trepidation.

Though Lisa was born in the barrio, she had never slept under the night sky.  On hot summer nights she had slept on the nipa-covered bamboo porch with her banig, as was the custom in the barrio, to cool off but not to listen to the stars.  The idea of listening to the stars, and with her new found friend, excited her.

"Sige, dalhin natin ang banig at unan at kumot pero magkatol tayo, dahil malamok," ("Okay, let's bring the mat and the pillow and blanket, but we'd better light a katol, too, for the mosquitoes,”) Lisa responded immediately, her eyes shining with enthusiasm.

As in their first encounter, Talia’s bated breath resumed its regular rhythm upon this demonstration of utter spontaneity.

 

AND SO IT WAS that Talia and Lisa began to know each other.

Lying under the night sky, between pointing out the big dipper, the small dipper—orang supot ni Hudas to Lisa-and looking for Sirius and the north star, each asked the other questions about her past.

Talia learned that Lisa was an adopted child, taken in by a childless couple under, and despite, mysterious circumstances.

Almost thirty years before, Lisa’s future adoptive father was walking by the highway several hills from the barrio, on his way to rent out his labor to another farm, when a bus stopped some meters away from him.  A tall and comely young woman got off the bus.  She was holding a box.  When the bus had roared away, she put down her box and walked to the other side of the road.  The man passed by the box and seemed to hear the cry of a baby.  But not thinking that anything extraordinary was happening, he went his way.

He had walked quite a few puffs of his cigarette when a bus going the other way sped by, and seemed to stop.  Casually he turned around, expecting the young woman to go up to the bus with her box.  She did, but he spied the box still lying on the dewy grass on the other side of the road.  He ran after the bus, trying to flag it down, waving wildly, shouting with all his might.  But the bus engine must have been too noisy, because it sped right off.   

The man then ran to the box in an effort to find an address that was not there; instead, he discovered a baby cradled in a comfortable swathe of baby clothes.

Since the man and his wife were childless after twenty years of marriage, they decided to adopt that baby.

"And how did you find out you were adopted?"  Talia asked.

"Everyone in the barrio knows."

"I wonder how it feels to be adopted?"

"Nothing.  They are my parents as far as I'm concerned."

"Do you love them?"

"Very much.  They could feel for me.  My mother has always said if I feel that it is time to go, I should go.  They won't stop me, because they know I am not meant for the barrio.  No one knows that I go to town secretly; only they know.  They sacrificed much just to send me to the town high school.  They wanted to send me to college, but they couldn't afford it.  My father himself had worked in town trying to finish high school, but he got married early to his barrio sweetheart, my mother.

"But why do you go to town secretly?"

"Because I am always looking for something.  I don't know what.  I have to do it secretly because here a dalaga is bad if she goes alone.  And I can’t always come with other people; not too many travel here because of the difficulty.  There is a forest path, much shorter, right at the back of this house, but the others won’t take it.  They say there are creatures there — aswang and tikbalang."

And then Lisa whispered furtively, “Wala naman e.  Doon ako dumadaan." ("There aren't any such things.  I've been through that forest path many times.")

Talia laughed.  How light she felt with Lisa!  “May plano ka bang umalis dito?" (Do you have any plans of leaving this place?")  she asked.

"Oo! Gusto kong tumira sa malaking siyudad." ("Yes, I'd like to live in the big city,") Lisa answered without a second thought, her eyes lighting up.  "Sasamahan mo ako?" ("Will you come with me?")

And their eyes, afloat on their new understanding, met.

"What about you," Lisa asked, "Did you not come here to stay?"

Talia came back to herself, her agonies.  “No,” she answered.  “Just for some peace and quiet, just for a while.  I would like to write.  Then there are some experiments my father was working on when he was alive.”

She thought about her father.  He was not a great scientist, she told Lisa.  He was more of a writer, but he was interested in everything.  So he experimented and read much about science.  But most of all he wrote.  “He was a good man, unlike any I have ever known.  He was a teacher by profession, but he and my mother were thrifty to a fault, so he was able to acquire enough to assure his children some financial stability.  I was the last child, born ten years after my elder sister.  I practically grew up alone.  Perhaps that is why I learned to write.”

"Your father must have been like you," Lisa said.

"I was molded in his image," she answered.  "Even my mother molded me in his image.  They brought me up not to think of my gender.  I was always a person.  It was easier when I was young; nobody demanded the subservience of a woman from me.  Besides, in my college years I was in Manila, where no one minds anyone.  But as I grew older everyone started to ask, why aren't you married yet?  Your intelligence is going to waste.  Why do you argue so much?  You're a woman.  Be feminine.  Don't think.  Don't hanker after so much knowledge.  Just be a woman and take care of your man.  Let him do the hankering.  I couldn't take it."

As she spoke, Talia's eyes wandered farther and farther into the distance, into the space between the stars.

"I have always dreamed of a nether world where all is true and just and beautiful.  I think that is why I became a writer, why I would rather be holed up on top of a hill, observing people, not talking to them.  I am looking for something myself-a heaven, or maybe just a haven.  Maybe I will end up writing satire," she laughed to herself.

Talia paused, her eyes still reaching for the space between the stars, her voice becoming even more distant.

"I don't think many people understand me.  I must be too complicated.  In fact, I have never found anyone who could understand me."

She turned to Lisa, who was looking at her sympathetically but, somehow, vacantly.  It is too much for her, Talia thought.  It is not yet time.  Someday she will see, but not now, it is too soon.  Besides I am still too mixed up myself.

Feeling satisfied enough with having unburdened herself, she changed the subject, and told her friend about the principal, and the other men, all of a kind.

"Akala ko iba na rito.  Mas masahol pa yata.  Yung kapitan na ‘yan…." ("I thought it would be different here.  Maybe it's even worse.  That kapitan..")

Lisa laughed. "Kahit sa akin nagtangka na rin ‘yan.  Pero hindi siya makaabante.  Pinakamatanda na kasi ang Itay at tinitingala rito.  Habang buhay ang Itay, wala siyang magagawa.  Kaya kinukuha na lang sa tingin.  At saka, ang ginagawa ko na lang, umiiwas."  ("He's tried that with me too, but he couldn't make base one.  That's because my father is the oldest man here and respected by all.  While my father lives, his hands are bound.  He could only stand and stare.  Besides, all I do is avoid him.")

Then pausing to think, she continued, “Pero tama ka.  Ganyan nga rito.  Kailangang magpailalim ka.  Hindi lang nila ako magalaw, dahil para bang naiiba ako sa kanila." ("But you are right.  That's the way it is here: a woman has to be submissive.  They just can't touch me, because I don't seem to be one of them.")

Their eyes met again: Talia’s looking exasperated; Lisa’s all wonder at the new discovery.  But they were both smiling now.

"Ang supot ni Hudas, tingnan mo, kumikinang, o!" ("Look, Judas' money bag is twinkling! ")   Lisa laughed, pointing up at the sky.  She looked back at Talia and laughed again.  "Pero alam mo, kung naiiba ako, mas naiiba ka yata.   Nagtataka ang lahat sa ‘yo, kahit babae at bata."  ("But, you know, if I am different, you are even more so.")

"Bakit?"  ("Why?")

"Iba ka kasi.  Hindi ka nakikisalamuha.  Hindi ka nagbabahay-bahay.  Hindi ka matsismis, tulad ng ibang babae." ("Because you are different.  You don't mix.  You don't socialize.  You don't engage in gossip like other women.")  She looked at Talia carefully, afraid to hurt her.

But Talia's reply was philosophical.  "Wala akong magagawa.  Iba ang pakay ko sa buhay."  ("I can't do anything about that.  I have a different purpose in life.")

"Oo nga," ("Of course,") she replied approvingly, stroking Talia's arm.  "Maiba ako, ano yung nasa baul?" ("By the way, what is in your trunk?")

"Chemicals and vials for experiments, a laboratory set, a slide projector and slides from my college days, sensitive equipment in general," Talia answered.  It took some time to explain to Lisa what these were for, but Lisa showed she understood, even if she may not have imagined their full use.

"But why do you ask?"  Talia wondered aloud.  Lisa had a difficult time explaining the curiosity, because it was not her own.

"You see, the people in the barrio, they have no secrets from each other.  They've never seen such things.  Even your furniture looks strange to them.  Your father's book, they think it's something about..  They think you're different.  They have their suspicions.  They think you're-you know - another kind of creature."

"What?"  Talia pressed.  "What do they think I am?"  She looked searchingly into Lisa's big eyes.

Lisa's eyes softened.  She could hardly look at Talia, so afraid was she to see the hurt.  She lay on her back and looked at the full moon, now high up in the sky.

"They think you're a witch," Lisa said, her voice trailing off.

The silence seemed an insuperable barrier.  Then Talia broke into a loud laugh, and Lisa could look at her again.

"They burn witches at the stake, don't they?"  Talia asked softly, thoughtful again,    looking into the soulful eyes for succor.  "What do you think?" she finally managed to ask timidly, after a long pause.

Lisa looked back into the dark sad eyes of her friend.  She put her hand on the other’s cheek, let it lay there softly, and whispered with the greatest tenderness, “As long as you’re with me you need never worry.”  And then she kissed Talia, beside the hand she had lain on her cheek, the kiss glancing the side of Talia’s lips.

And so that night they lay, the two women, in peaceful sleep, holding on to each other’s hands, the light of the full moon shining high above them.

IV

When Ka Tiago had heard all the salacious details of the arrival of the maestra, he immediately felt the beginning of his triumph.  Having digested the insult hurled at him, he had vowed revenge—but a revenge without confrontation, like the man without character that he was.

The barrio residents came to him one by one, confused at what they had seen. “What is she?” they asked.  “How did she get here?”

And he answered in a righteous tone, “Well, you know, we live in a democracy, and everyone is innocent until proven guilty.  Everyone has the right of domicile.  The title to her land was genuine, and all her papers were in order, so of course, I had no choice but to approve her registration.  But nothing is permanent.  Everything changes.  After all, the registration is only for a year.  And if there is cause, we can expel her or even jail her.”

He conveniently failed to mention, of course, that she was a maestra, for that fact alone would have been enough to reverse the people’s observations.  Instead he made haste to add, “Pero ano nga ba ang nakita ninyo?"  ("But what was it you saw?")

And each told his story.

One noticed that she flailed her arms in a way he had never seen before, because, it seems, she did not want anyone to see the contents of her boxes.

"Flailed her arms-like a bat?" the kapitan asked, with perfect timing, in the proper conspiratorial tone.

"Yes, yes, like a bat!  Even her eyes were all afire like a bat's," the resident answered, the image now indelibly printed in his mind.

Another told of the giant book with the horrid creature on the cover, which his nephew had seen and related to his mother, the storyteller’s sister-in-law.  The strange scribblings nearly jumped off the yellowed pages, he added.

"You don't think-witchcraft.  You mean books and papers on witchcraft?"  the kapitanasked, seemingly with hesitation.

"Witchcraft-oh no!  Yes!  It couldn't be anything but witchcraft!" exclaimed the interlocutor.

A third described the awesome furniture with the mysterious designs, a description he had picked up from the wife of his cousin, who had heard it from her neighbor.

"The same designs as the books and papers on witchcraft?" the kapitan suggested, moving his cigar as if he were drawing the carvings in the air, in front of the man’s eyes.

"Yes, they must have been!  Of course they were!" the man gasped, dizzy from following the cigar's circled route.

One of the men who had carried the baul related its awesome weight.  “As heavy as lead,” he said.

"What?  There was a dead person inside?" the kapitan asked, sending a wave of recognition into the man’s eyes.  “Are you sure it was only one dead person?  Not many chopped to size?”

And the reporter shuddered at what, in his mind, already was.

After each visit, the kapitan sat back on his rough wooden wall in self-satisfaction, one foot at a level with his ass on the bedroom bamboo floor, one hand on his knee holding a lighted cigar stub, the other leg hanging down freely over the cement of the combined sala-dining room-kitchen.  He was right in pretending to be busy at the farm upon the maestra's arrival.  Not having been an eyewitness to the event, he now merely served to crystallize the people’s opinions.  Moreover, the people came to him; and he took great care to talk to each one separately, simply suggesting conclusions to what each reported.  He would continue to stay away, and let his men and the other barrio folk do the spying and the work of avenging his ego for him.

So they came everyday-sometimes twice a day, for weeks.

The very first reports after the incident were of the increasing frequency of Lisa’s visits to the “witch.”  It had become an established fact, after each talk with the kapitan, that Talia was a witch.  Those who were present at her arrival recalled, in hindsight, how Talia and Lisa’s eyes had locked while Lisa was handing the book to the witch and how that look must have been the beginning of a hypnotic trance that kept Lisa coming back daily to the house on the highest hill for longer and longer hours, until she even slept there nights.  Others reported unholy laughter in the dead of night, laughter that rocked the trees near their homes.  Still others saw light as bright as the sun issuing from the hill, so bright it could be seen mountains away till the wee hours of the morning.  All this occurred on the nights that Lisa stayed with the witch.

Then finally, the tanod sent by Ka Tiago to spy on the two came to say that he had seen them sleeping on the grass under the full moon, that the witch had planted a death kiss on the lips of the poor girl, and that he had left them in an even deadlier embrace and scurried off, lest they turn without warning into tikbalang.

These reports, especially the last, stung the kapitan to the quick and fueled his ire.  It had been bad enough that Talia had deflated his ego, the witch.  Now she would even best him in the purely male game of winning a woman he had sought to woo.  She was a witch indeed, he managed to convince himself.  Otherwise, how could any woman be the better of a man?

If the kapitan had been braver, he would immediately have laid siege to the house on top of the hill upon hearing of this insult of insults to his manhood.  But he happened to be a coward, intrigue his only special capacity.  So, he chose to wait out his revenge.

The only step the kapitan took now was to warn the barrio folk not to tell Lisa’s adoptive parents about their suspicions until the evidence of witchcraft was beyond doubt—on the pretext that they might, without meaning to, send the old folks to their graves against God’s will.  But in truth, the kapitan wanted to prevent the old folks from hearing of the intrigue and therefore foiling it.  Instead he advised them to win back Lisa in any way they could by diverting her to more godly pursuits.  Why not invite her to the fiesta in town, he suggested to one.  Or involve her in the cleanliness drive, he told another.  Talk to her, make friends with her, he urged a third.  Warn her about what she’s getting into.

And so it was that Lisa came to know what the people thought about her friend.  Divert her, however, they could not.  The months passed by, and the fruits and vegetables grew bigger than any the barrio had seen.  And there lay added evidence of witchcraft—for who had ever seen squash as large as huts and papayas big enough to fill one table? 

But Lisa started to stay on the hill for days and nights on end, barely going home to her parents.

The kapitan's fated stroke of luck, however, did come one stormy night.

Talia and Lisa had been to see the latter’s parents and had just finished eating supper.  The man commended his adopted daughter for having chosen such a fine friend.  Suddenly, Lisa seemed to hear, through the storm, the muffled cries of their neighbor from another hill a short distance away.  She knew it was one month before Daling’s time.  She’d been left alone by her husband, who’d gone to town to buy their sari-sari store supplies.  Daling had two children with her, and one of the cries seemed to be that of the elder child.

Lisa told the party of her suspicions and immediately pulled Talia to the rescue.  The old man advised that they go straight to the place, for the komadrona was in the other barrio, waiting on another patient.  But the walk was slippery and the mud knee-deep.  So, when they reached the house, Daling was already unconscious on the floor, the baby out and motionless, its umbilical cord unremoved.

"Kalalabas lang ba?"  ("Has it just come out?")  Talia immediately asked the elder child.  But he was one of the children who'd been present at her arrival and had heard all the horror stories.  He paled upon seeing Talia and remained mute and plastered to the wall throughout.

They could do nothing but revive the poor woman.  Talia cut the umbilical cord and cleaned up the baby and the mess.

When Daling came to and saw Lisa, she was relieved.  Lisa told her gently that her baby had died, having been born in the most dangerous month, as Talia had explained while cleaning up.  But Daling espied Talia from the corner of her eyes and became hysterical.  Soon her two children joined the hysteria.

Afraid to cause more harm to the family, Talia and Lisa left hurriedly.

The next day, talk of the witch’s latest deed was rife in the barrio.  She had sucked the blood of the baby, it was said, and that was why it died.  She would have sucked the blood of the pregnant woman too, if the woman had not by some good fortune regained her consciousness and shouted her lungs out.  And Lisa was there; she must have sucked some blood already.  Now, she too was a witch!

When Daling's husband got off the bus from town, he was immediately met by the rumormongers-about a dozen in all.  Inflamed, he proceeded without much ado to thekapitan's house, trailed by the rumormongers.  “It’s time we did something,” he demanded, backed up by a chorus.  “They have already taken a life.  It is time we took theirs.”

The kapitan raised his hands to silence them.  “Okay, okay, if you are with me, I am with you.  Let us plan this thing very, very carefully.  Let us be sure we get them.”  At that he stuck out his fist and made a back-handed jab.

The small crowd cheered.  The kapitan was their hero.

V

The old man finally heard about the rumors from the hysterical Daling.  He tried to explain to her that he had talked to Talia over dinner, rather lengthily, and that he thought she was a fine woman, chaste and pure of mind.

But it was too late.  She remained unconvinced and merely stammered that the witches deserved to be killed by the barrio people.  Yes, even now, the latter were with the kapitan planning the witches' demise.  The couple should never have adopted that baby.  Maybe she was, in truth, a witch's daughter just waiting for another witch to take her.

The old man lost no time running to the house on top of the highest hill.  “Umalis na kayo," ("You have to get out here,") he advised.  "Kilala ko ang mga taong baryo.    Hindi na sila mapakikiusapan.  Kung sana sinabi ninyo sa akin ito nang mas maaga, hindi na ito nangyari.  Kung sana may nagsabi sa akin…."  ("I know these people.  They cannot be prevailed upon.  If you had only told me earlier, this would not have happened.  If someone had only told me..")

But it was too late, and all he could do was entrust his dear adopted daughter to the hand of God.

"Harinawa'y pagpalain kayo ng Diyos, saan man kayo magpunta," ("May God bless you, wherever you go.")  he said as he blessed the two women on his way out.

The news of having been blamed for the death of Daling’s baby hurt Talia to the core.  Hot tears streamed down her cheeks as Lisa held her head to her breast.  But there was no time to be hurt; the danger was too close.

"It has come," Lisa told her gently, stroking her hair.  "Now we have to leave."

"But my father's legacy!  I cannot leave it behind!"  she cried.  "It is precious to me!"

Lisa stopped to think.  Talia was right.  But how could they leave safely with all that baggage?  Maybe Talia could let go of most of the readings, except for the novel and her father’s papers.  The kitchen things and even the clothes were surely dispensable.  But what about the big bulky furniture?  And the baul?

"Are the contents of the baul precious to you?" Lisa asked.

"I could buy them again in the city, after some saving up,"   Talia answered.

"Then all we need is a few days to hold them off.  If only we had something to hold them off," Lisa thought aloud, her eyes fixed on an indeterminate distance.  "If we had a carabao and a cart, we could easily drag those things through the forest.  The way there is not so steep.  It's not so hard to pass through the forest, you know.  Even easier than climbing this hill.  They don't know that.  And right after the forest is an abandoned logging road where the truck could wait."

"Hold them off?"  Talia asked, drying her cheeks now, her reason assuming control.  "The only way to hold them off is to scare them off."

Almost simultaneously they turned to each other, a glint of recognition flashing between them as their eyes met.

"Of course!"  Talia laughed.  "What better way to scare them off!  Now is the best time to put my knowledge of chemistry to a test.  Open the baul.  Let me get the key.”

And so it was, that while Talia and Lisa ran through the forest and sped to town to arrange for the carabao and the truck and the haulers, the barrio folk thought that the two witches were still in the house on top of the highest hill.

Attempting to attack the hut that night, the barrio men and some brave women, armed with sticks and stones, were suddenly assaulted by sparks that flew and fire that blew, in all directions, such that they could not so much as get near the top of the hill.  If they had been a little more observant, they would have noticed that one of their own had tripped on a thin wire strung through the front perimeter, at mid-base.

Talia and Lisa came back the next day with the haulers and other equipment to find that their contraption had worked. Smiling and giggling like little girls, they packed up, mixing, stringing together still another contraption.  At nightfall they started to set out on their journey.  It was already morning when they finished hauling the last of the furniture to the truck on the abandoned logging road.  Finally seated in the truck, they ordered the driver to speed off in the direction of the highway.

The kapitan and the barrio folk had not attacked that night.  They were feverishly repairing their weapons.  This time they aimed not to fail.

They launched their last attack the night after.  Not far from the base of the hill, they were met by the same crackle and whoosh of sparks and fire.

But they were prepared.  Undaunted, the hardiest men continued their advance, and at the appropriate distance, just above mid-base, lit torches and strung them to sturdy bows, and aimed.  Fire flew to the nipa roof, setting it aflame.

Quickly the whole party ran up the hill.  But hardly had they reached the top, flames almost on the walls of the hut now, when another horrid thing happened.  On the tree a short distance from the hut glowed a terrible image, the very same the children had described to be on the giant book, without the inscriptions.  It seemed to float in the air, rippling with the wind.  Shortly sparks and fire flew again, issuing from the mysterious vegetable patch.  Heavy mist flowed from the ground, thickest where there were mud puddles.

The barrio folk stood in awe, spears and bolos in hand, not daring to go any nearer.  The kapitan slithered away to a distance, inconspicuously.  Meanwhile, the fire they had thrown started to engulf the house, lending the floating image an even more frightening orange hue, as of flames eating up a whole forest.

And then the hut suddenly blew apart.  Everyone scampered for cover.

When the kapitan let go of his head and emerged from the bush where he had run for cover, it was all over.  Nothing was left of the hut.  He strode up the hill like a conqueror, his mouth still biting a cigar, his thick lips stretched to their broadest width.  From the top of the hill he surveyed what he thought was his triumph.

Nothing was left of the evil witches, he reported later at the munisipyo.  “The only things that remained were broken shards of burnt glass, still hot with the fire we had thrown, and wire and tattered pieces of white cloth, all used by the witches for their blood-curdling activities.  We have burned them to a crisp.”

AND SO IT WAS bruited about in the barrio of San Roque that two witches had sipped the blood of a newborn infant, and this was more than the kapitan and the people of San Roque could stand, so that the kapitan, who had been good enough to leave them be for a good long while, burned the two witches to an unrecognizable crisp.


The Axolotl Colony

Jaime An Lim
English

After their divorce his wife promptly married her American lover of ten months and moved out of Bloomington, Indiana, to the East Coast, taking their ten-year-old daughter along. The court, rather unfairly in his thinking, had granted his ex-wife child custody because of her "financial stability." Tomas Agbayani, feeling betrayed but unable to do anything about it, continued to stay in Campus View, the housing on Tenth and Union reserved for student couples, though this was now an irregularity. The Residence Hall people, had they known of his altered marital status, would have reassigned him to Eigenmann, the graduate dorm of unmarried students located just across the railroad tracks, or to an efficiency at Redbud, a one-room affair where a folding sofa-bed marked the austere living-sleeping area.

But Vilma Teare, the apartment manager, probably feeling sorry for him, had chosen to look the other way and allowed him to stay another year, which was the time for it would take him to wrap up the final draft of his doctoral dissertation ("The Third World in America: A Study of Ten Minority Writers" included the Filipino poet-exile José Garcia Villa, among others). Tomas had been working for her for eight summers now, as part of the motley crew of student hourlies hired to clean the empty apartments for the incoming batch of new tenants flying into town each September, the start of the academic year at Indiana University. "It's a pain in the neck. I should know.
But believe me, Tom, it always works out for the best in the end. For everybody. Though it may not look that way right now." Vilma was sympathetic but hardly surprised. She was a tall, matronly woman who apparently knew what she was talking about. She herself had been twice divorced.

"Though I've always thought... Aren't you Filipinos Roman Catholics?" A confused frown looked him over from her white-framed eyeglasses. Over the years as apartment manager, Vilma had seen all sorts of foreign students come and go: Singaporean, Japanese, Nigerian, Taiwanese, Indonesian, Malaysian, and even Red Chinese. Enough, at least, to be able to pick up on some of their peculiarities. Iranians and Saudi Arabians don't eat pork. Indians eat an awful lot of hot peppers. Filipinos eat an awful lot of rice. South Koreans prefer that odoriferous salted vegetable called kimchi. Muslims worship on Fridays. Roman Catholics do not allow divorce and contraceptives. The idea of Filipino Roman Catholics practicing divorce in America bothered her. And it was not the first time either, Tomas had to admit. Nor the last. He had heard of many sad stories. "Just wondering. Of course, nowadays it's hard to tell."

Actually, the Agbayanis were Presbyterians. In fact, their graduate studies in the States (Edith was doing her doctorate in zoology and he in American literature) were partially subsidized by the United Board of Christian Education for Asia. But in the sleepy provincial town of Dumaguete, Tomas could not remember a single instance of a divorced Filipino couple. Theirs would be the first, a dubious distinction. He was not naive. Of course, he had known of separated Filipino couples. Of course, he had known of husbands taking on mistresses on the sly. Of course, he had even heard of wives committing an occasional indiscretion. But divorced Catholic Filipinos?

Tomas himself, despite his long years in the States and the gradual liberation of his values, could not quite get used to the idea of being one of those family men who, at the stroke of a pen, had suddenly found themselves divested of home, wife, and children.It had seemed terribly unfair. In those first months after the divorce, he moved in a daze like the walking wounded, a bloody casualty of a marriage on the rocks. What had he done wrong? There had never been any ugly scenes, bitter quarrels, or brutalities to prepare him for this. Like Edith, he worked and studied at the same time (he handled three sections of Freshman English every semester), adroitly balancing the many responsibilities of graduate student, associate instructor, and family man. He taught and studied, did the laundry on weekends, cooked occasionally, took an hourly job here and there to be able to afford the little extravagances for his family during birthdays and holidays. So where did he err? Edith would have rephrased the crucial question: What had he not done? But Tomas would insist, self-righteously, that he had done everything for them, short of robbing a bank. Well, all right. Perhaps, not everything exactly.

There was that small matter of their piddling sex life. They had taken to sleeping in separate bedrooms in the last couple of years. One of the luxuries of Campus View was that you could have a room of your own. Edith used to say, "Why is it that I always have to make the first move?" Meaning: she found sneaking into his room (after Suzie had gone to bed) increasingly humiliating. It was the woman's prerogative, after all, to be desired and pursued, not to pursue. But what did she expect? After doing the day's assignment on Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams (interesting), making ten pages of translation for French 501 (tedious), and checking seventy-five freshman essays in various stages of incoherence (excruciating), then picking up Suzie from the Japanese babysitter, heating the TV dinner, and taking out the trash (Edith did the dishes while half-watching the eight o'clock news on Channel 30), after doing this and doing that, Tomas felt totally exhausted and in no mood for an energetic wrestle in bed to cap his long wearying day. Could anybody blame him? He was not Tom Selleck, nor was meant to be. In any case, why take unnecessary risks? At this point in their lives, they needed another baby like they needed a hole in their head, woman's prerogatives notwithstanding. As Professor Chaitan, that understanding old man, would have allowed: "Il leur faut du repos...."

Another time Edith had gazed out of their apartment window to a world suddenly empty of people. "Everybody's gone for spring break," she said wistfully. Campus View was a boxy nine-storey building, of unprepossessing architectural provenance despite the elegant limestone facade quarried from south of town. Shaped like a massive T, the horizontal bar (consisting of the south and north wing) ran parallel to Union Street, while its legs (the east wing) jutted out toward a grassy knoll in the back. This area was usually littered with people: boisterous picnickers chasing frisbees, cyclists gearing up for the Little 500, baseball players on weekend practice, sunbathers in skimpy bikinis baring the paleness of their winter flesh to an unseasonably warm spring sun. The Agbayani apartment was ideally located on the third floor of the east wing (high enough to allow a birds eye view of the grounds but low enough to make the escape down the stairwell manageable, in case of fire). But that day the area was desolately empty. Even the resident Peeping Tom in Apt. 606, probably an onanist to boot (in the daylight just a balding middle-aged man from Turkey doing postgraduate studies in environmental planning), had disappointedly retired behind the drawn curtains with his binoculars. Edith had watched the scene with an expression that barely concealed her wistful longing. Where had all the young men and young women gone? Probably to Florida for a bit of tan, sun, and fun, like turtles in heat during their annual pilgrimage to their mating ground.

Tomas and Edith, of course, never traveled during the holidays, like most other foreign students on a strict budget. The Thai occupants of Apt. 312 were home, catching up on their term papers because you could hear a typewriter thoughtfully going tak tak-tak tak tak-tak. The Japanese couple in Apt. 301 across the hall were doing their spring cleaning and moving furniture with a lot of scraping. In Apt. 308, the young El Salvadoran couple, husband and wife, were sobbing again. Were they homesick? Did they leave small children behind? Had something terrible happened in their troubled homeland? It was ironic that, for all the vastness of America, Tomas and Edith, holed up in Campus View, had seen so little during their long stay in the States. They had gone outside the state only twice: once to Louiseville to watch the Kentucky Derby and once to Chicago where they visited the Art Institute and the Museum of Natural History and went up the Sears Tower to marvel at the dark choppy waters of Lake Michigan that looked wide as a sea. Both times were sponsored by a church hospitality group that matched foreign guests with local families willing to entertain them for the weekend.

Surprisingly, the divorce proceedings went without a hitch, largely because Tomas did not feel like contesting any of the allegations. He was confident that Edith would eventually come around and see the foolhardiness of this grand guignol. The petition for the dissolution of a marriage, drawn up by the Legal Services of Indiana that provided free legal counsel to indigents, simply stated that the marriage was "irretrievably broken." There was one further business of a property settlement, but Edith, in a gesture of generosity or relief, offered him a free hand to do whatever was proper or necessary. She got to keep Suzie. And he, if he liked, could keep their small house and lot in Dumaguete, their rusting appliances, their mismatched pieces of furniture. After the court hearing the three of them walked up Kirkwood Avenue to the bus stop. Anybody who saw them would have thought that this was some ordinary happy family out for a leisurely stroll or a bite of pizza at Little Caesars, and not a family already irretrievably broken.

In mid-February, Edith dropped out of graduate school and moved with Suzie to Newport, R.I., where John Steinbergh taught at a community college. Only then did Tomas feel the full force of the divorce. He was angry and bitter. Suzie had written: Dear Daddy, Dad, we have a sailboat and we live in a big big house.... What civilized law would take a daughter from her father? If he had entertained scenes of eventual reconciliation and forgiveness, that possibility was now dashed to pieces. The sneaky bitch! Plotting behind his back! Never in a hundred years did he expect this, and he could not imagine how they—the sneaks!--had managed to know each other. He recalled a conference on genetics held in Athens, Ohio, that Edith excitedly attended. When he carefully looked over the old telephone bills, Tomas discovered that there had been long-distance calls between then for nearly a year. And probably while he was right there in the kitchen too, frying their chicken dinner or slicing the onions! He could have kicked himself. How could he have missed what was coming? Regretfully, he had to admit he had been too engrossed in his own ambitions to see anything else. Looking back, he could now see obvious signs of impending disaster, some deep unhappiness on her part that he, in his ignorance or distant preoccupation, was unable to forestall. There was nothing else to do but pick up the broken pieces.

"Is Edith coming back" The voice on the phone was brisk. It was the zoology department secretary.

"I don't know. She didn't say."

"Well, she still has her things in the office. Would you mind picking them up? We really need her table for another GA."

Jordan Hall was on Second Street, a more interesting older building with ivy creeping up its limestone walls. The hallways, painted the usual beige, smelled strongly of formaldehyde. At regular intervals, display windows were punched into the walls, where stuffed birds and animals crouched in arrested motion and stared out with glassy eyes. Through a half-opened door, he caught a glimpse of several stretched boards where crucified cats, skinned to their raw muscles, grinned their eternal grimace of pain. Great, he thought, and nearly bumped into a waste container in his hurry to get to the end of the hallway.

"Mrs. Weinstein? I came for Edith's...."

"Oh, yes. This way, please. I'm sorry to bug you about the table but we're a bit overcrowded this semester." She looked more kindly than she sounded almost motherly, in her gray cardigan and loose brown dress.

"That's all right. I understand."

Tomas followed the broad efficient back into another room filled with microscopes and glass jars, then to yet another adjoining room. This must be their special laboratory. He remembered Edith mentioning it in passing. A huge airy room with greenish light, it was completely lined with metal racks running the entire length of the room, standing eight racks thick. On the shelves were arranged some two or three hundred fishbowls half-filled with water. And at the bottom of each bowl stirred a strange orange-gray creature, half-lizard and half-fish, with feathery things coming out of its gills like red corals. His gasp of amazement was audible.

"Our axolotl colony," Mrs. Weinstein beamed a proprietary smile. "I bet you've never seen anything like this."

"No. I can't say I have."

"They're Mexican salamanders. Ambystoma mexicanum."

One smiling graduate assistant looked their way. (Chinese? No, probably Japanese. Most Japanese he knew had terrible teeth.) With a long teaspoon he was feeding an axolotl something that looked like frozen ground meat. The creature remained motionless, smelling the meat in the water; then with lightning quickness, it snatched at the food. Its throat quavered once, twice. Bits of meat swirled in the water.

"We alternate chicken liver with beef liver."

"No wonder they're so plump."

It was only after a minute that Tomas noticed something very strange and very wrong: the axolotl crawled in a lopsided way, its tail end dragging to the bottom. Then he saw two perfect depressions of raw flesh where its hind legs should have been. They had been sliced off at the joints, where limb and body joined, with a very sharp instrument: the cuts were so clean. When he looked more closely at the others, he saw that all of them had been mutilated in one way or another. In a petri dish near the sink he saw shiny pieces of axolotl flesh and internal organs. Another graduate assistant, an Indian, was dissecting a dead axolotl.

"Unfortunately, a few do die. Despite the care and precautions."

Tomas turned to Mrs. Weinstein. "Was Edith involved in any of... these experiments?"

"Of course. It was part of her assignment. She was pretty handy with the scalpel, if I may say so myself. And she kept meticulous records of their rate of regeneration."

Regeneration? Or mutilation and forced mutation? On another axolotl, where there used to be a tail, two rudimentary pinkish knobs had begun to sprout like forked branches.

Poor axolotls. After they were through with the creature, what freak human invention would bungle into amazing existence?

Tomas gave a faint shudder, remembering the Jewish men and women whose flat buttocks were pumped full with melted paraffin to voluptuous proportions, and the Jewish children whose genitals were sliced off or sewed shut to prevent the procreation of the race.

"The regeneration part is routine. What we are really trying to discover is the threshold of recovery."

"You mean just how much you can slice off without killing the poor thing?"

"Not quite that crudely... but, yes, I suppose that's another way of putting it. I know all this seems cruel to you. But axolotls are very hardy animals. They don't feel much pain. They grow their missing parts. They heal rapidly."

"I see," he said, with some irony because he was growing inexplicably angry. Such obtuseness. Just because they cannot cry does not mean they don't feel pain. "All for the benefit of science, I presume."

Mrs. Weinstein drew herself up, straight as a ramrod. "Knowledge has its price, like everything else," she said, almost coldly.

Sure. And the axolotl shall pay.

"But we're making progress," she went on. "We're getting there. Too bad Edith had to drop out of the program."

Too bad she did not drop out sooner, Tomas thought bitterly, before the coldness had worked its way into her heart. He suddenly felt suffocated, as alien and out of place in that antiseptic laboratory as the wild axolotls in their glass bowls. He could not get away from the blank stares of the mutilated creatures fast enough.

As it turned out, what Edith had left could easily fit into one brown grocery bag: romance novels in paperback, the score of Puccini's Madama Butterfly, some old test papers that she failed to return, old Christmas cards and letters from home, and a fading Polaroid of the three of them taken during their first winter in Bloomington nearly six years ago. It was a gentler time then. They looked younger, slim and clear-eyed, the bright future still ahead of them. They were laughing, the three of them, the snow falling dreamily on their hair and eyelashes. The snowballs in their mittened hands seemed like the most extraordinary things in the word. Christmassy and magical. (They could not guess the snow's malevolent power until years later, during the blizzard of 1978, when snow fell for days in slanting sheets, piling up chest-deep everywhere, cutting off roads, burying abandoned cars, bursting water pipes, and leaving a family of four in an isolated farmhouse in Brown County frozen to death.)

In the photo, Suzie was warmly bundled in a red fur coat. Tomas recognized the coat as coming from the Opportunity House, a church-run store selling used things, located on the west side, the poorer side of town. They often bought their clothes there at bargain prices: shirts for a dollar a piece, dresses for two, coats for three, T-shirts for a quarter, socks for a dime.

Since it was still early and the spring weather warmish, Tomas decided to walk back to Campus View. At the back of Jordan Hall was Ballantine where he used to have most of his classes. He thought that in four months he would be through with his program. It was now just a matter of running off the required number of copies and having them bound. The approval sheet had already been signed by his dissertation committee. And then he would be flying home to the Philippines. Alone this time. He felt nostalgic and sad, as though he were already missing everything: the great revolving globe in the foyer of Ballantine, the echoing classrooms, the maple and tulip trees outside, bare since last fall, just beginning to bud. Many other Filipinos had walked the meandering campus pathways, now edged with a few blooming forsythias. Juan C. Laya was there during the forties. (On the seventh floor of the university library, he once came across an old yellowing copy of His Native Soil, inscribed to his American foster parent: "In gratitude for taking me into your hearts and home.") He crossed the bridge over Jordan River and went round the Showalter Fountain where a reclining Venus floated in the air amidst the sprays of water jetting out of the mouths of dolphins.

One block further north was 10th Street and from the corner of the university library, he saw Campus View burning.

Fire, smoke.

But, no, it was just a violet Indiana sunset reflected on the tiers of glass windows and the plume of black smoke from the basement trash incinerator coming out of the smokestack on top of the building. In the hallway of the east wing he caught a whiff of beef teriyaki and broiled lambchops. The wing used to be known as Little Tehran because most of the occupants were Iranians. But times had changed. The Shah was out, and many of the Iranian students dropped out of school. Now it might become a Little Tokyo or a Little Riyadh.

Tomas took out two pieces of fried chicken wrapped in foil from the freezer and heated them in the oven. There was still some leftover rice. He sliced a tomato and an onion, and shook the half-empty bottle of catsup. While eating dinner, he watched TV. Debonair Bob Barker, host of The Price Is Right, was calling out for the next lucky number. "Contestant No. 27 of Venice, California, (shriek, applause), come on down!" A screaming overweight woman in a red halter and black stretch pants ran panting down the stage. "Now, ladies, what would you give me for this luxurious water bed and bedroom suite from Broyhill (shriek, applause)... plus this entertainment package (shriek, applause)..." Tomas flicked the channel to the 8 o'clock news. Bearded Iranian youth, carrying giant posters of Khomeini, were chanting "Death to Reagan! Down with the USA! Death to Reagan! Down with the USA!" After rinsing the plate, glass, and spoon, he watered the potted begonia on the windowsill, another one of the things that Edith had left behind. It was dying. From too little sun? Too much water? He thought of a sailboat and a white clapboard house on Narragansett Bay. It was terribly unfair. She was his daughter, too. Despite himself, he was dialing their number in Newport, R.I.

After the fifth distant ring, a voice came through. "Yes?"

"Hello? Edith?"

"Do you have any idea what time it is here?"

"I just need to talk to you."

"Are you all right? You sound terrible."

"I'm okay. Just a slight cold. How are you and Suzie?"

"We're fine." She paused, then added. "She asked about you today."

"Sometimes, I wish we..."

"Tom, please."

He did not mean to say that at all. He had promised himself never to beg or cry. Even before the divorce was finalized, when some passionate pleading on his part might have changed her mind, he did not beg. He was not about to start now. "Sorry," he said and had to swallow hard to regain his voice, "Anyway, when I go home, what shall I tell them?"

"I don't know. The truth, I guess."

"The shock will probably kill them. Nanay had a weak heart. You know that."

"Don't be ridiculous. They'll get over it, soon enough. It's not as if somebody had died or
something."

But somebody or something has, he thought, but did not say it. Instead he said, "I hope you're right. For our sake. How's Suzie's taking it?"

"As well as can be expected. She's too young to really understand what's going on."

"When I think that I may never see either of you again, once I go..." There again, the self-pity in his voice edging out any sense of pride.

"Oh, Tom, please." She sounded wretched and tearful enough. But the wretchedness went as quickly as it came. "Don't do this to me."

"I mean, it's true. I can't just come over to the States and visit. Just like that. It's not going to be easy."

"We'll write," she said. Then she brightened up. "Hey, we can even visit you in Dumaguete for a few weeks. Won't that be neat? Suzie would just love to visit."

"She'll be different then," he said. Because people do change, despite themselves; he knew that now, even the ones who love you. Distance can do that, and time and ambition and carelessness. Most of all, carelessness, as they were careless once, taking the tenuous joys of home for granted. "Perhaps she won't even recognize me."

"Let's not go into that right now, okay? We'll work something out, Tom. Okay?"

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"Have to go. I'm freezing. The forecast said it could get as low as 30 degrees. Can you imagine that?"

In one leap she was gone. He had lost her. Her mind was elsewhere, on the turning weather and the warm bed where a naked, blue-eyed man waited to make love to her all night. After the goodbyes and goodnights ("Kiss Suzie for me...."), Tomas held on to the phone and a moment longer and heard the severed connection humming in empty space.

Later he woke up in the night, sweating, his left leg dead, his throat dry, as though he had been breathing through his mouth or pleading in his sleep. When he got up for a drink of water, tiny needles pricked his numb foot. He looked at his watch. Three o'clock.
Outside the window, the world lay sleeping. Lights lined the streets, but in Campus View almost all of the apartments were dark. Only the insomniac in Apt. 511, pursued by some private demon, was till pacing the floors. Bluish shadows leaped and scuttled around his room. The rest were in bed, breathing quietly in the healing dark. The dirty old man in Apt. 606 entered his Turkish seraglio of veiled voluptuaries.
The couple in Apt. 308 had followed their tears home to the misty grasslands of Cojutepeque. Freud was right: our night selves always return to the wellspring of our deepest desires. Some dream of women; others dream of home. Some want to go home; others want to stay.

Edith, Suzie, he called out, in his heart. What would happen to him now? What would he do for the rest of his life? I grow old.... I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled. He slid the bay window shut. A wind had swept down from the north, bringing the enduring chill of snow. Tomorrow there would be more frost powdering the grass, and the spring forsythias would prematurely shed their yellow blooms. He thought of the drugged apparitions in fishbowls, living on an over-rich diet of chicken liver. In the forest and warm lakes of Mexico, in their element, they could have been the fierce golden creatures that they were. He felt suddenly cold. I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I do not think that they will sing to me. He sat in the easy chair and, drawing his legs underneath, bundled himself tight in an old woolen quilt. He sat like that for a long time, without moving. He would watch the night rise into morning. But even as he steeled himself for the long vigil, his eyes grew heavy and his head slowly sank against his chest.

The last thing he heard, in that half-wakeful state before sleep, was the distant wail of a freight train moving across the landlocked vastness of the Midwest.



Sacred Mountain

Calbi A. Asain
English

I WAS ONLY A SOPHOMORE in college when I participated in a leadership workshop in a far-flung province in the South. At first, I was hesitant to go. Why not hold it, I thought, in the city where we could be exposed to modernity? The goal, as defined by the sponsors, was to acquaint student leaders in the urban enters with their counterparts in depressed areas and their needs. But since it would be my very first trip out, I decided to go. Then there was, of course, the excitement of meeting other student leaders from southwestern Mindanao—the prospect of making new friends and all.

While I was packing, my mother gave me a list of precautions to take once I get to the venue of the seminar. Which was natural for a parent seeing her youngest off for the first time. She said there were many sacred, mysterious spots in the place which I should not violate. Transgression, she warned me, would likely result in illness, insanity, or even death.

She named a well-known sacred mountain, the mother of all mysteries to her. This mountain, she stressed, was located in the capital town of the province and towered over it and its vicinity. This she had learned from her cousin living there, who visited us some years back. I was eager to go. In addition to my penchant for mysteries, a plan jelled in my mind: on my way home, I would take the plane so that I could make a stopover in the city and behold something new, something different.

It was somewhat stormy when I left our old port together with other delegates from other schools in my own province. But the sea welcomed us with its serenity late in the afternoon as we left a small island town where more passengers boarded the M/V Gumamela.

The next day, a few hours from our destination, a fellow passenger next to me warned his companion not to be noisy: the sacred mountain was in sight. I got up right away to have look. And there, not far off, stood what must have been the sacred mountain. I gazed at its steep slopes and rocky, yellowish-brown jagged peak. As we docked, the sacred mountain looked so tall that its summit seemed to fall on us. As I stared at it, I thought I saw up there a huge rock shaped like a man. And it seemed the figure was somewhat staring at me, too. I rubbed my eyes to make I wasn’t hallucinating, but when I looked at it again, I was jolted by the sound of the ship’s anchor as it roared down into the sea.

On the crowded wharf, a group of well-wishers had gathered, their streamer saying: “Welcome Delegates to the 1st Western Mindanao Student Leadership Workshop!” We all hopped into the waiting jeepneys, as many student leaders had come on the same boat, which had sailed al the way from Zamboanga del Sur. We drove through newly-cemented streets of the town. Some of the townsfolk watched us curiously as we passed by.

Along the highway to the school where we would meet and stay for one week were dense vegetation, fruit trees, and the long stretch of coconut plantation. To our left was a clean white beach. Beyond the trees, to our right loomed the sacred mountain around which we traveled around to get to the seminar site. Then all the vehicles stopped on the road near the shore, and we all jumped out to view the surroundings. I turned to the sacred mountain. The closer it was to me, the more enigmatic it seemed.

“That mountain, there’s something eerie about it,” said one delegate. He folded an empty Hope cigarette pack and flattened it on his back on his lap while sitting on a log. Then he pulled his pen from out of his pocket and began sketching the mountain.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m drawing the mountain. It intrigues me so.” Glancing up at the mountain every so often, he continued drawing it.

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“Of what?” He stopped and bit his pen, staring at me. The Hope cigarette wrapper flew from his hand as if snatched away by some unknown force.

“Look at that!” I watched the wrapper being blown away by the wind. It hi the coconut trunk and hung as if glued there for a while before it swung down when the wind dropped.

“It was the wind, period.” The city-bred delegate looked away.

Our vehicles roared back to life, and we got aboard. In about fifteen minutes, we arrived at a huge open gate. It was the school campus where the workshop was to be held. We were instructed to proceed to our respective lodgings in order to get settled and rested. I looked around. The campus was quite spacious.

There were three beds in the room I was supposed to occupy—which meant I would be with two other delegates. I chose the bed beside a window. All the windows were shut. I opened the one over my bed to allow some fresh air in, and I saw the sacred mountain again. I felt the hair on my nape rise when I saw what looked like human eyes on the side of the mountain facing me—seemingly closing on me as they joined each other to make one huge eye. I shut the jalousies abruptly and sat down on the bed, gasping, only to be jolted again when one of my roommates pushed open the door without knocking.

“I’m sorry…I thought there’s nobody in yet. I’m Darkis. How do you do?”

“How do you do? From the city?”

“No, from the province.”

“Me, too. Do you speak Tausug?”

“A little. But I speak Yakan and Chabakano quite well.”

I thought of moving to another room. Darkis was lanky and crossed-eyed, with a big mouth. His canines seemed to protrude when he talked, and there was a gap between his two main incisors. But I was supposed to be a principled youngster, shunning any form of discrimination by reason of looks, creed, or station in life. Besides, I have to make do with Darkis because our third roommate had not come. The following day, he gave me an indigenous, hand-made fez from his province, and I could only give him an imported toilet soap I had bought from our barter trade market.

The weather turned bad in the middle of the week. It was worse at dark. One evening, after supper, we decided early to call it a day. Darkis dashed to the lodging house ahead because I had to go to the infirmary to get some cold tablets. There was no electricity. I was groping in the dark when I got to the lodging house. When I opened the door, someone covered in a white bed sheet blocked my path, and I almost shouted. It was Darkis.

“How could you?” I took my small flashlight from my bag and looked for the candle we had been provided with.

“Sorry, I just wanted to have some fun. I’m bored!”

“At my expense?”

Darkis just grinned off my question, and I saw his canine gleam in the dark as I lighted the candle and put it on the table. By the way, I forgot to tell you, we have a sacred mountain like that one outside,” Darkis tried to divert my attention, sensing I was irked.

“Really? What’s it like?”

“Well, there are so many things you cannot do in is vicinity. You can’t piss near or toward it. If you do, you wont be able to piss for days! And when you spit toward it, you’ll have ringworms around your mouth!” He gestured at me, his face twisting grotesquely.

Ringworms! I could not imagine having them around my mouth. So I asked: “Is there a cure?”

He looked at me in the eye. “In our place, you have to offer live rooster and swear a hundred times you wouldn’t do it again. All this you do with the help of a shaman.”

I recalled that I had sneezed, then spat toward the sacred mountain as we entered the campus gate. But I was not exposed to it when I did so. Then my chin itched, and fearfully I looked at Darkis. I thought I had caught ringworm.

So many strange things occurred during the workshop. One night, at supper, we were teasing each other. The girls were giggling, we boys were exchanging crazy innuendoes. One delegate from the city said that a vampire seized and bit him in the neck in his nightmare a night before.

I looked at Darkis sitting opposite me.

“No, Fareed,” someone said, “there are no vampires in my homeland.” We all laughed.

Don’t laugh too much while eating,” snapped a female delegate from the host province, who was always giving us warnings. “The sacred mountain is nearby. Your laughter could annoy it. We fell silent. Only the sounds of the spoons and forks on our plates and our chewing and belching could be heard. All of a sudden, we started from our seats when a rat appeared dangling from a curtain on the window facing the huge dining table. Where it came from, we knew not.

“I told you so!” exclaimed the serious –looking student leader from the host province as the rat scampered away down the window sill and out of the house into the garden full of weeds. I looked at Darkis, as expecting him to say something about the appearance of the rat. He was silent.

We had another session afterwards to identify common problems in our towns and cities and their causes. The Manila-based speakers would bring the results of our deliberation with them the next day. We had to stay up until the wee hours to finish the job. We felt extremely used up and sleepy when we got through. After the grueling session, Darkis and I hurried to our room.

I had barely removed my shoes when, groggy from lack of sleep, I practically dropped dead on my bed. A couple of hours later, I was shouting and kicking in my sleep, I almost fell to the floor. Darkis kept pulling y right foot’s big toe until I woke up.

“What’s wrong? Whey the hell were you pulling my big toe?”

“You were yelling in your sleep, that’s why. In my province, that’s a sure way to wake up somebody having a nightmare. And if that doesn’t work, one must pull a sensitive part of the body.”

“Which part?”

“Well, that thing below your navel”

“What, You’d do that?

“Why not? I’d rather pull it that see you die and be investigated by the police. By the way, why were you yelling in your sleep?”

“It was the sacred mountain. I dreamed of it.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Yes, I dreamed it has many eyes, and then they turned into just one huge eye closing in on me. I felt I was trapped…”

“Did you do something prohibited? I mean, during our stay…”

“Nothing…well, I took some pictures of it from the bridge. I love taking pictures, you know.”

“That’s why.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, some mountains cannot be photographed. I’m afraid the rest of the film has been affected.”

“Those that I snapped were the last three of or four exposures.”

The last day of the workshop came. Many participants had indicated the were leaving in the same afternoon to catch the last boat, which made the trip to the island once a week. If they missed it, they would have to wait for the other boats days later. Darkis and I would take the plane. When I told him about my idea of flying to the city before going home, he said he was joining me. It would be out first time to fly, so we were pretty excited. We left in the morning after workshop.
We arrive in the city after an hour’s smooth flight. From the airport, we took a motorized tricycle to the wharf because we had to buy our boat fares in advance. We went straight to the RSJ shipping Lines to buy our tickets. Darkis entrusted our luggage to a kindhearted storeowner, then, we proceeded to the commercial district and found a camera and film shop.

I handed my roll of film to the salesgirl for processing and paid a deposit of P100. We were told to come back at 3 p.m. for the pictures.

“Perfect! You leave at 4 p.m., and I leave at 6.” I nudged Darkis, who was dallying with another pretty sales girl. Let’s get out of here, I’m starving.”

“Who’s not?” Darkis pulled the door open, and we stepped out.

We went straight to the fast food center at the corner of Brillantes and Climaco streets. We sneaked into the line for out stomachs could no longer wait. We settle for the boiled beef, vegetable stew, and fruit cocktail for our desert. Darksi has a glass of coke and plain water for me. To my pleasant surprise, he paid our bill, which was fair enough because I was going to pay for the pictures.

We went to the big department store on the next block to while away the time until we could claim the pictures.

“I hope to see you again in the nest workshop,” Darkis said, “in some place where there would be no sacred mountain.” As he grinned at me, I remembered all at once the sacred mountain that seemed now exotic, faraway land, my dream about it, and the snapshots of it I had taken from the wooden bridge.

After window shopping—asking the sales girl about the price of this and that but not buying anything—I signaled Darkis that it was time to go.

Back at the photo shop, I handled the claim stub to the salesgirl. She took it and looked for the envelope containing my film inside the glass counter. She pulled out a folded strip of film from it and put it on the counter. Returning my deposit, she said: “Sorry, nothing came out of all 36 exposures. What a waste!”

“But…But why?”

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe you exposed the film.” The salesgirl turned to another customer who had just come in.

Darkis and I looked at each other without saying a word. Then I took the film and scanned it on the counter for a while. I raised it toward the light above.

I could see nothing but a strip of blank film.

From Panuggud and Other Stories, DLSU Press, 2001



Reunion

Herminio S. Beltran, Jr.
English

"DIOS MIO! What has happened to this generation? They don't even slice tomatoes properly anymore!"

Lola Susing's bluish round eyes glare from across the dining table and all sitting around there share secrets smiling.

"Come on, Strel dear, go on with the slicing," the girl's mother touches gently the shoulder of her daughter who has dropped the knife on the chopping board. "Show your Lola you can someday be the best cook in the world." Aunt Lenny smiles again and the fourteen-year-old girl, my cousin who dreams of becoming a doctor, resumes her own way of slicing the tomatoes.

But the old woman, sprightly and sharp of vision at age seventy-five, rises up from her chair at the head of the table and goes to the opposite end where the girl is sitting. "My dear apo , you are not to mash the tomatoes, can't you see they're greenish yet, the best in the market, and you are going to spoil the pakbet with them?" Her hands rough and lined with varicose veins, wet and smelly with vinegar and soy sauce, garlic and onions, pass from behind the girl. Holding the knife, she adds, "Here, I'll show you, my sweet donya , so your future husband will not leave you with those clumsy hands."

Lola Susing picks up a tomato from the large bowl in front of them, places it carefully on the chopping board, and slices with the sharp blade across the tomato through its side. "See, it opens.and has the shape of a flower."

The girl, embarrassed, stands up from the chair. "I'd better take a bath first," she says and leaves. Aunt Rening, mixing the soy sauce, lemon juice and pepper with the ground pork, sways her head and looks at me seated beside her. 'That's what I had been saying all along, Junie. It really takes years to know your Lola. You must have read all what I have been saying in my letters?"

I laugh. "What was it you told me, auntie? She of the exact kitchen and the bladed word is our parliament.She of the greenest bush in our ancestral garden is heaven-sent. For she is our future and our present, the mirror of our ways, the Milaños temperament!"

The members of the audience do not clap after that recitation, what with hands wet over some concoction or ingredient on the dining table. They can only jeer, " Yehey , author, author!"

"Not me, of course," I say. "Let's give proper credit to the poet here," I bow slightly towards Aunt Rening whose gums show as she smiles in acknowledgment.

"Serenata Milaños Marciano," I raise my voice, "the poet who would rather be called a housewife and teacher par excellence!"

Aunt Rening, now laying carefully ground meat on pieces of lumpia wrapper, says, "I'd like to clap my hands, hijo , the poem appears to be good when recited by a good performer."

Aunt Rening is one member of the family I'm proud of. We have been writing letters to each other since I was in the grades. It is from her letter that I was encouraged to read Shelley, Keats, Byron, Shakespeare. Milton, Thomas Gray, aside from my father Diosdado Mayo Sr. She can recite selections and lines that she calls "mellifluous." She says she teaches her students to recite them in school programs. She also writes but she'd rather call them "verses, not really poetry yet." She has a reputation of being a eulogist as she is often called upon by a civic league or a church organization to deliver lines in honor of the dead when a prominent member of the community is laid to rest. She sings, too, and can read notes, but changes the lyrics of a kundiman when, requested to sing on birthday parties, the occasion calls for a fresher metaphor. But no, she says, she is not a poet, not like my father who had made a name in the 1930s as a perennial winner in campus literary contests. Her letters are almost all in verse, lines that if not altogether hers are culled from poetry books she reads between her laundering, feeding the pigs in the sty, preparing lesson plans, watering pechay and eggplants and cabbages in the backyard, supervising a school project. She is very much like my mother, but Mama does not write. She only sings love songs and hymns and recites love poems she teaches in school. Mama says they grew up together and are alike in many ways except that Mama loves simpler dresses and never went out with her to parties when they were young women. Mama is older by one year and is, she claims, more responsible about home chores.

"And you call the poetry?" Lola Susing brings the platter of cubed papayas to the stove where the chicken broth is steaming. "You should have seen me deliver my lines in my day."

"Here we go again," says Aunt Lenny. "We never run out of superstars in this house."

Lola Susing seems not to hear as with dexterity she drops the cubes into the boiling kettle. She puts back the cover on the kettle. In a minute, she is doing some dance steps on the floor.

"Here's how we do the tercera eccena ." She places her right palm as if holding a fan over her breast, swings her left hand to the side and sings:

Ti ayat ti maysa a lakay
Aglato no agkabaw
Napait, napait,
Napait a makasugkar.

(The love of an old man
Especially when he is senile
'Tis bitter, bitter,
Bitter as it is loathsome.)

Her face dims, her eyes curl, her lips twitch, her voice wavers, and just as she is about to end a successful tremolo , she croaks and coughs. The children laugh.

"That's enough, superstar," says Aunt Rening. "Who will ever forget you were a zarzuelaqueen?"

"No one, but no one among you has followed my footsteps," Lola Susing says. "Who among you here can command an ovation by simply standing on stage just as the curtain opens?" She exits as she goes to the stove to check on the tinola .

Nanang , dear, but zarzuela are passé nowadays. People would rather go to the movies and be some Cristina Gonzales or Ruffa Gutierrez," says Aunt Lenny. "It's no longer talent but the body."

"Lenny!" Aunt Rening frowns at her younger sister. "The children shouldn't hear these things."

"The children, yes, where are the children?" Aunt Lenny changes the topic.

Mama, with her husky voice, sitting while listening at one corner of the table, says, "Hey Junie, tell them to come, it's late. What time is it?"

"It's 8:45, Ma."

"Leave them alone," says Aunt Rening. "Let them play together and discover they're cousins. It's Christmas Eve and it's good to play in the streets at this hour."

"Oh, when we were kids," Aunt Lenny says, "we'd climb every tree, drive away every dog that gets in our way as we go caroling from house to house. Let's leave them to experience that, too. These cousins haven't been together for years. It's only during times like this that."

"Oh, it doesn't rain here on Christmas Eve anymore?" Mama asks. "We used to carry large umbrellas to church on Christmas Eve."

I open the door and am met by the cold December wind. I go out the street to listen to the sounds of Christmas in the village.

Napunit. So this is the village where my mother grew up. When I was young, on Christmas Eve, Mama would tell us, her children, about her childhood Christmases in Napunit. She'd say people would sing folk Christmas songs from house to house even under the rain. Now I hear the stereo from the neighbor's house. Michael Jackson. A rock and roll Christmas song. I try to identify the children's voices in the dark beyond the streets where electric posts stand, in some neighbor's yard where carolers are strumming guitars, beating drums, shaking maracas. But I am annoyed by the barking of dogs. I smell roasted pork from a neighbor's kitchen. I go back to the yard. There is one thing I seem to be missing. Where is the scent of ripening langka in the yard? Mother had made me imagine trees in this yard. Langka branches heavy with meter-long ripening fruits at this time of year. But not one langka tree stands in the yard. I can hear cicadas whistling, and see fireflies hovering above the avocado trees near the well. Mother had told us about this, too, how they in their youth would catch fireflies in the dark. But how now, when the trees are so tall? And the fireflies gathered on the leaves so high are beyond reach?

So this is Mama's hometown, the abode of her memories of youth. It took us all of two days and two nights to reach this place. The Rabbit bus followed zigzag roads, balanced itself as if on a tightrope on a long narrow strip of God-forsaken road along the Patapat from the border of the Ilocos to the tip of northern Luzon. At times weary of all the long hours seated on the bus, we would complain. And Mama would simply say, "I never told you to come." But wild ferns and orchids and waterfalls on the way would excite us no end and we'd point at them as we'd catch our breath as the bus would negotiate a right angle between a huge tree and a deep canal which appeared to us like branch of the fabled Cagayan River meters below. Papa, with his camera ready, would take a shot of the scenery. I thought he had another poem coming. I'd be reminded of the metaphor of woods being "lovely, dark and deep." And this jungle I had imagined from what I had heard from Mama and Papa and from what I had read in schoolbooks, appeared more mysterious than any of my wildest imaginings. Who is it that told us that centuries ago, travelers would meet elephants, lions and snakes on the way? They are very much around, Papa would say. I did not care to find out whether he meant that as a fact or as a metaphor. Perhaps both? We would look up through the window and face to face with the broad side of the Sierra Madre, the cold wind would pinch our noses. When we'd look down, it was the deep blue sea and the ancient rocks black and brown below where the steaming waters rushed and sprayed. I felt them rushing to my face against the mountain wind atop this strange country. Look at what my mother's generation had to put up with to go to school in the city, I thought.

Some forty years ago, they would pass this road to get to a convent school or normal college in Laoag.

My mother became a teacher: just as soon has she had graduated, she went to Pangasinan to apply for a teaching post in a new school founded by my father. My father was then a young lawyer, rich with dreams of his hometown San Juan. That was after the war. They had told us how even on horseback they would go to school.

My mother could not have become a teacher were it not for a childless uncle of hers who, before the war broke out, rode on a ship to the United States, with a young man who was to become a famous novelist, Carlos Bulosan.

My grandfather on my mother side was a laborer who went to Guam and Hawaii, one of those adventurous Ilocanos from Sinait, but never came home with riches. He came home poor as ever. And my grandmother who was disappointed with him kept to her cooking.

She was a chief cook in the first restaurant in town owned by a Chinese-Filipino businessman, and that was how she kept her family alive. My grandfather was a butcher besides, and sometimes they worked together in that restaurant. He, my Lolo Tonyo, died with his failures and secret triumphs during the war. He was shot by a Japanese soldier while sleeping in a hammock tied onto chico trees in the yard. Mama had said he was an expert in mathematics and that explains why Uncle Gusting and Uncle Manding were tops in their classes. Uncle Gusting became a pilot because he loved to fly. Even as a child, he played with toy planes. My Uncle Manding would have become an engineer but he became an "engine" instead as what my Aunt Lenny used to say: "When your Uncle Manding was in high school, he invented an engine that ran boats with salt water for fuel." I knew she was joking. These two uncles of mine are self-made individuals; they finished college on scholarships. Uncle Gusting was black and blue after he went through the initiation rites, my mother once said. But now, he is a colonel in the Air Force and is easily the richest in the family. My Uncle Manding, despite his not finishing his engineering course, earns enough as an assistant to the manager of a logging company, but spends most of his income on drinking. He is detailed in Maconacon, a place in Isabela that has the reputation of being an island, but it is not an island, simply that it could not be reached by land.

"The people are not around," I announce at the kitchen. "Maybe they have gone caroling in the poblacion ."

"My goodness, go find them!" Mama is suddenly panicky. "Drunkards there might fool them."

Sus , leave them alone," Aunt Rening reassures. "Charlie is with them."

Charlie, Aunt Lenny's eldest, grew up in this town. He studied in the elementary school here until my Aunt Lenny finally obtained an education degree in a college in Pangasinan.

Aunt Lenny stayed with Mama shortly after Mama and Papa got married; she attended high school in Papa's hometown. She topped the entrance test to a nursing school in Manila but on the day that she was to check in the dormitory for nursing students, she eloped with her high school sweetheart, my Uncle Ross. They were only eighteen then. Uncle Ross was taking pre-medicine. After their hasty wedding in Pangasinan, they were sent by Uncle Ross' mother to take up teaching in a provincial college. Aunt Lenny gave birth to a boy eight months after the wedding, and put the boy in Lola Susing's care. Now a grown man, Charlie is on vacation. He has worked for three years and a half in the U.S. navy. He is simply the richest among us cousins. He has dollars to show around, and with a flick of his fingers can gather all his younger cousins for a party at the beach. He loves to eat vegetables raw, and that's what the younger ones cannot stand. He drinks whiskey, and even the girls love to drink with him. They'd gurgle with perfumed water just before they show up in the house. They'd look red however and my mother would notice. But they'd laugh it away saying, "It's the wind in Napunit , it makes us look like radishes."

We have been gathered here since two days ago. We have learned about each other's ways. The Mayo family, my family, is fairly well-represented. Only my sister, a teacher who got married last year, could not come because she has a one-month-old baby and has to stay with her husband in Zambales. My younger brothers Salvador and Emmanuel would not stay in Pangasinan despite Papa's offering them an increase in school allowance starting January.

Buddy is a junior in veterinary medicine while Noel is a freshman economics student. Buddy would have wanted to take up medicine but Papa said he could not afford medical school. Appointed by President Roxas after the war as justice of the peace in our sixth-class municipality in Pangasinan, Papa retired recently after thirty-four years of service. He received a lump sum enough only to fund the repair of our house he inherited from his parents. He is a notary public and is bothered by his conscience when has to collect more than fifteen pesos from a client.

"Papa is not a good lawyer," once said Buddy. "He doesn't know how to make money. He can only play the violin and write poems."

That made me think twice. Papa and I have almost the same interests: music, books, justice, beauty, truth ? not money. And when I think of the possibilities in theater, I become afraid. I'm not sure whether I, a budding theater person, can raise a family of my own.

The Marciano family has been with Lola Susing since Aunt Rening and Uncle Sebio married in 1958. She teaches in the elementary school while he, a stout bald man, works in the municipio as a tax collector. They have five kids ? Rita, Hannah, Gina, Serenata (her mother's namesake) and Viola - all are of the size of a kuribot . They are a family of stout and stout-hearted people. They prepared a huge pig and chickens for the occasion. They say the cost of education is so high they can hardly afford to send three of their daughters to college. They make up by raising pigs in the backyard.

Uncle Gusting and Aunt Cely who are supposed to arrive on a Mercedes, bringing boxes of apples and grapes, reside in Pampanga, at the air base. But they have yet to arrive. They should be here before 10:00 tonight as they promised. They should be here with their only daughter Tricia who studies in Paris. I can hardly wait for Tricia to tell stories about the theaters, museums, churches and fashions in France. She used to send postcards.

The Rimorins are here except Aunt Lenny's husband Uncle Ross who works as a clerk in Saudi Arabia. Charlie, named after Charlton Heston who was Aunt Lenny's favorite actor after watching "The Ten Commandments"; Leoxie or Leosendo, after Leonila and Rosendo, a strange combination of their names, now sixteen and such a thin tall fellow; Strel or Estrella, Uncle Ross' mother's namesake, which name my aunt would have objected to had it not been that Aunt Lenny loves stories of Estrella D. Alfon; Sweetie, whose real name is Richard Neil after Richard Burton and Neil Armstrong, a late baby, some nine years younger than her elder sister - they, too, are all here.

Uncle Manding's wife Meding and her four boys named Robin, Rico, Reynald and Rupert, born one year apart in that order, are all here too, except that Uncle Manding himself, the youngest of the Milaños brood, is not here yet. He promised in a letter to Mama that he would come for the holiday. His sons are now all dying to see their father.

"Don't forget to bring out all the gifts, and put them under the Christmas tree just before we go to church at 11:00 tonight." This must be the ninth time since this morning Mama tells me that. I have written the dedications on the three gifts she had wrapped: "To Lola Susing, Outstanding Mother and Grandmother Who Stands Tall on Top of the World, From Your Beloved Mayos;" "To Nanang-Soldiers of the Home Never Die, From Dadong and Nena;" and "To Doña Jesus Aguirre vda. De Milaños; Happy Birthday! Still the Fairest of them All! From the Milaños Clan."

On top of that, Lola Susing is in for more surprises: a luminous rosary blessed by the bishop of Manaoag where the Holy Shrine of the Nuestra Señora is located, a ternomade of embroidered jusi , and a framed reproduction of an old picture of Lola Susing which Papa found one day under Mama's yellowing wedding dress in an aparador . Mama, Aunt Rening and Aunt Lenny who have been preparing for this special day wanted to surprise their mother who is used to letting the 24 th of December pass like any other Christmas Eve in her life. Mama's instruction was clear: Lola Susing must not see those gifts with dedications until we have come home from church for the Noche Buena.

"Why is Manding not here yet?" Lola Susing asks. "He should have taken the trip with his family. Why does he allow his wife and children to travel alone?"

"Didn't Meding tell you?" says Aunt Rening.

"He has yet to wind up an important business. Don't worry, he'll be

knocking at the door within the hour."

Everyone knows Uncle Manding is Lola Susing's favorite - right or wrong.

"You may leave the kitchen, Nanang," says Aunt Rening.

"We'll take care of the salad. Everything is through. Take a rest so you'll

look beautiful tonight."

"Tonight. tonight.," Aunt Lenny sings in jest to the tune of the song in

"West Side Story." "There won't be any night."

"Rest, rest," Lola Susing, annoyed, mocks the word. "What rest are you talking about? All my life, I have not known what that word means. I have not taken rest except when one has to retire at night. Despite that, don't I look beautiful just the same?" she stops to pose with a proud look and a high-pitched voice.

Aunt Lenny and Aunt Rening laugh again. "Who says she could no longer deliver those punch lines?" Aunt Lenny remarks.

"But of course, Nanang, you always look beautiful. You've always been

beautiful." Mama says as she beats the egg whites in a plastic bowl. "Is this okay now for the icing?"

"Yes, Manang ," Aunt Rening says. "And will you help Nanang put on the gown? It's in the old aparador in her room."

Mama stands up to wash her hands at the sink.

"I'll never wear that gown!" I'll never wear somebody else's gown," she waves her hand adamantly. "What do you think of me, a beggar?"

"Nanang, that is your gown. We bought it for you," Mama says. "It's yours and it suits you perfectly."

"I like my own gown, the one I wore in my zarzuelas, the one with white feathers on the sleeves and collar," the old woman insists.

"You may wear that old one again some other time, Nanang, but this time, you should wear a new gown," Mama pleads.

"My God, she has been wearing that gown year after year, it's been reduced to tatters," Aunt Rening mutters.

"Your new gown has white feathers on the collar, too. Nanang, and you have a white feather fan to match," Mama gives her best at persuasion. "We're all eager to see you wearing it."

"Never!" she states with a tone of finality. "I'll look for my own." She proceed to her room.

"My God, she's crazy about that museum piece," Aunt Rening sighs exasperatedly. "How will she ever find that gown now? I've kept it in my traveling bag," she whispers.

"She might exhaust herself looking for it," Mama is worried.

"I'll take care of this," Aunt Lenny says as she follows to the room Lola Susing who is wiping her face with a towelette.

After five minutes, Aunt Lenny comes out of the room clipping her diamond earring onto her right earlobe. " Pacencia , she simply won't budge," she says. "She refuses to wear even diamond earrings, what can I do?"

"I'll be the one to manage that." Mama, Lola Susing's eldest daughter, speaks with determination. "This old woman of ours is simply hard-headed."

As Mama enters Lola Susing's room, Aunt Lenny recites the costs of her jewelry: her earrings, her rings all five of them on four fingers of a hand and one on the other, her necklaces made of thick gold, her pendant she calls Spanish tambourine, her bracelet she claims to be of 18 th century vintage - all dangling from her or wound around her body, as she walks to the dining table and sits looking like a Christmas tree on a chair. For several minutes, everyone around the dining table is silent. There is only the sound of falling boxes and bumping drawers from inside Lola Susing's room.

"If only your Uncle Gusting were here," says Aunt Rening, "he's the only one she obeys in this house." Uncle Gusting is the eldest son.

'What might have happened to them?" I say. "They should be here by now."

"And that Uncle Manding of yours, he should be here now, too," says Aunt Lenny. "He should realize he is very important on this occasion."

"Will you see your Aunt Meding, Junie," Aunt Lenny says.

"She must be enjoying this occasion with us. She shouldn't be boring herself to death waiting in the room."

I go to knock at one of the doors. I am met with silence. I knock again. Nobody answers.

"She must be asleep," I report. Aunt Meding has earned the reputation of being a martyr in the family. "That woman is a martyr. I couldn't be anything like her," aunt Lenny once said in a family gathering in Olongapo where her family resides.

Aunt Meding takes care of her four young sons. Since she left her husband in Maconacon, she has never seen him again. Neither have the children seen their father. It has been three years now that she has been writing to him, but she has never received a reply. Neither has she received money from him. She prays the novena every evening. She hopes that someday her husband will "reform," as she calls it, and will come back to his family a good husband and father, filled with love and regret for his neglect. Her sisters-in-law would console her. My Aunt Lenny would say, "If I were married to such a man, I'd leave him immediately, as fast as I could."

Not one in the family, except Lola Susing, admires Uncle Manding. He drinks too much with his barkada , and when he's drunk, he'd beat up Aunt Meding and the kids. Aunt Lenny congratulated Aunt Meding after she finally left him to teach in her hometown in Bicol. Aunt Meding's family would chide her for playing a "martyr" but the woman would only cry and pray to God her husband would one day come back to her. Aunt Lenny would sometimes call her " gaga " behind her back.

Expecting to see her husband, Aunt Meding brought all her kids with her. But it's been two days since the day Uncle Manding was supposed to arrive yet he still has to show up. Coming all the way from Bicol, Aunt Meding and her kids were the first to arrive in Napunit.

When Strel, my sister Luisa, and Hannah, Aunt Rening's second eldest daughter - who are of the same age - come out of one of the rooms, they are holding a bundle of tape cassettes and a tape recorder playing in full volume. I recognize the voice: it is Uncle Ross'.

Aunt Lenny laughs. "Listen, I always find that funny."

Strel sits on a chair behind the piano, turns the volume down, and hides the tape recorder. But the words can be heard clearly: ".George, you remember Tito George? The one you met at the airport? He is again looking at the pictures in his album. After five minutes, I know, he is going to drink beer, and then he'll get drunk. Lucky if he goes to sleep after that. He'll cry. Isn't that shameful" (silence) I don't like men crying. I would rather laugh. Like Santa Claus, like this: ho- ho- ho- ho- ho. Or like Micky Mouse, hi- hi- hi- hi- hi, see? .How are you, hija?"

 

"It's Monday evening here and the people in the quarters are preparing for a few rounds of drink before they retire for tomorrow's work. I'm tired (silence). Oh, I am already yawning. But I feel good talking to you, hija. How are your brothers? How is Leoxie? Is he doing good in school already? He promised to be good before I left. Tell him I'll buy him a wrist watch, the best kind, when I'll come home for vacation in April. But he must show me he's doing good in school. He must stop wasting his time with that barkada of his. He must make good his promise. How about you, hija, how are you faring in school? Someday you'll be a doctora . Don't be like your brother Charlie, he'd rather join the navy. He should have been a medical intern by now. At least, it's good enough he had made up his mind. at least, he shares some of his earnings with you and your Mama. So study well. Wait. wait a while, hija.it's my turn to go to the CR.excuse me.."

The sound of recording turned off can be heard, but as the playing continues, a part of a drunken conversation without sense or context, is aired. Perhaps that part was taped in a previous drinking bout, a proof that the recording just heard was superimposed on an old recording.

Aunt Lenny laughs. "Ross has taken on a new hobby. It seems to me he talks to a tape recorder every night after work. I wonder what his friends there think of him. He sends tapes to us, dated and numbered. We play them in order. We'd laugh till our stomachs ache. That uncle of yours, Junie, doesn't he have a sense of humor? Let them hear side B, Strel, that one is more funny!"

"Never mind," the girl pouts, "that's not funny to me."

"C'mon, Strel," Aunt Lenny sighs.

"I do not find this funny," Strel mutters insolently as she turns off the tape recorder. "This is just a waste of batteries."

If you do not change your ways, Strel, your hair will be white before you turn twenty," the mother casts an angry look at her. Strel stands up and goes back to the room. We hear loud knocking at the door.

"We're home! Look at what happened to Sweetie!"

I open the main door, and the kids rush in talking noisily.

"Sweetie fell," one of the girl says. The five-year-old boy manages to smile as with his hand he brushes away the sand on his hair and wipes drying blood on his left cheek.

"What happened to Sweetie?" Aunt Lenny comes and pulls the boy by the arm. In the light, in fear, he stares at his mother.

"He climbed a labig tree at the shore," the stout girl who earlier mentioned a fall gives a detail of her report.

"That little rogue just won't stop," says one of the older boys.

"Where is Charlie? Didn't you come home with Charlie?" Aunt Lenny's voice is high-pitched now. "He is still with his barkada."

"Didn't he go with you when you went to the seashore?"

"He didn't."

Por Dios por santo! You could have drowned there. Where is Charlie now?"

"He is with his barkada at Bebang's. He saw his old friends there and treated them to beer and azucena ," says Leoxie.

She holds Sweetie's face up under the light to see the bruises. " Torpe , that's what you get!" she spanks the boy's behind with her hand. The boy remains quiet.

"Strel!" she calls. "Go get a basin of water and wash your brother's face. Find the bottle of merthiolate in my manicure set."

Strel comes with a towel and a cake of soap.

"All right, all of you, go wash up and get dressed for church," Aunt Lenny, a barrio school head teacher that she is, commands.

"But there is no water in the bathroom," says one of the boys.

"Then go and fetch water in the well," says Aunt Lenny. "In places like this, don't expect to be served. Be a scout," stresses the teacher who has flaunted several times that she has received dozens of certificates for outstanding performance in scouting jamborees.

"Shit!" Leoxie curses. "What kind of a house is this?"

Lola Susing comes out of her room, crying, almost mad. "Who could have misplaced my gown? I couldn't find it anywhere!"

"Her room is all topsy-turvy now," says Mama as she follows her from the room. She approaches Aunt Rening and whispers, "We better bring out that old gown. There's nothing we can do."

"I wouldn't come to this house again," complains one of the boys. "It's so difficult to fetch water from that blasted well! It's so far away from the bathroom!"

Lola Susing hears. "Don't you ever come to my house again," the old woman points her forefinger at the boy who sidles to avoid the grandmother on a war path. "Not until you've reached the age of fifty, little idiot!" She pursues the boy. "Your mother drank from that well, she was nourished by water from that well, and you, little demon, condemn that well?" Her voice wavers between anger and panic.

A long silence.

Aunt Rening comes to pat the boy's back and in a low voice says, smiling, "Say sorry to your Lola, hijo. Common, be nice to your Lola."

The boy runs to the kitchen, out into the yard, back to where his cousins are playing with water, exchanging banter.

"Who are the parents of these little demons? I hear one more complaint around here and I'll drive you all out to the street!. My gown, my gown, who could have taken that gown away?"

In the midst of her fury and panic, all she can do is brush her tears with the back of her hand.

"The gown is nowhere to be found, Nanang," says Aunt Rening to Mama's surprise. "You must have given it to Nana Sela. You have given away some old clothes to yourlavandera , didn't you?"

Aunt Rening looks intently at Mama and Aunt Lenny. Her sisters get the message.

"Yes, Nanang, you did, I remember now. You gave it to her for her son's wedding last March or wasn't that April?" she winks at her sisters.

Lola Susing, seated on a chair, deep in thought, faces the Christmas tree where small light bulbs are blinking. "How could have I given the gown to that stupid woman? How could have I made a serious mistake? Why should I be giving anything to that liar when she is never true to her promise? She never came on two Saturdays she was supposed to launder the curtains for this occasion?"

"But you even told her, her son's marriage would not prosper if the bride's mother did not wear a gown on her wedding. You told her that it's Nanang, I remember now," adds Aunt Rening.

"Did I now?"

Aunt Rening winks at me. The home run is done.

"Yes, Nanang, don't you remember?"

Lola Susing sits in silence, as if alone, looking at nothing in particular.

"All right then," she relents softly as her eye winks uncontrollably. "I'll wear that gown of yours. On one condition."

She raises her forefinger. "Promise me one thing and I'll wear that gown of yours."

Aunt Lenny laughs. "That's a smart woman. She should never settle for anything without conditions."

"All right, Nanang," says Aunt Rening, amiable radiance still on her face, "state your conditions."

With her fingers, Lola Susing brushes up her hair covering her eyes. She wipes her forehead with one end of the kerchief around her neck.

"I want to visit your Uncle Istib in Mindoro. I want to bring him home. He grew up here. He is going to die here," she declares and for emphasis pounds the armrest of the chair on which she is sitting. "I'm going to end the foolishness of that brother of mine."

"That's a smart woman!" cheers Aunt Lenny.

"But he does not want to live with you. He says he cannot leave his lands and the fruits of his labors in Mindoro," counters Aunt Rening.

"No, he will, he must," Lola Susing is adamant. "His children have all gone abroad. He is living there alone. What's an old widower going to do with wealth? Can he bring them to the grave?"

"Let's schedule the trip then," smiles Mama. In my mind, Lola Susing is not going to make any trip.

"How can she?" whispers Aunt Rening. "She doesn't even have control of her urination anymore."

"All right then, maybe we can set the trip during the summer?" says Mama. "Let's all go visit your beloved brother Istib in May. Would that be all right?"

"All right, let's mark that in the calendar. In May this coming year, off we all go to the land of promise," says Aunt Lenny emphasizing naughtily the word "promise."

"So, to the dressing room, please," Aunt Rening holds Lola Susing's hand as she motions her to stand up.

Lola Susing is all smiles and false teeth gleam like gems under the fluorescent lamp. She walks toward her room in slow small steps and Mama and Aunt Rening follow from behind.

"Hurry, children!" Aunt Lenny tells the children shouting at each other in wanton glee as they take turns pulling up the pail from the bottom of the well. They splash water into each other's face as they carry the water pail by pail to the drum in the bathroom.

"Don't wet yourselves out there in the cold," says Aunt Lenny. "You'll catch pneumonia."

When the drum is full, the children, one by one, or two by two, wash up or take a bath.

"Let's clean up this table," Aunt Rening, who has quickly changed into an embroidered dress made of what appears like jusi, suggests. She is combing her hair. "Everything must be ready before we go to church."

Strel, who has dressed up, brings a rag to wipe the table. I get the large kettle of arroz caldo out of the fire, and bring the bowls, canisters and casseroles filled with food to the big cupboard.

"Junie, please take off the covers," Aunt Rening says. "So that the food won't spoil until tomorrow. But keep the cupboard locked. The cats might steal."

"What might have happened to those Millañoses?" she wonders aloud.

"If they don't arrive at 10:00 tonight, they will not be arriving anymore," says Aunt Lenny.

"But it's already a quarter past 10:00," I say.

"Their car might have conked out on the way," Aunt Rening mutters.

"Or Uncle Gusting might have been called to an emergency meeting," I say. "With his position, and that kind of job, things could come up at the most unholy hour."

"I knew it, they won't be coming," states Aunt Lenny.

She tastes the potato salad. "I knew they could not come.in that situation. Where's the salt?"

Aunt Rening who is wiping the plates in the kitchen comes with a jar of salt.

"Why, what do you mean? What were you saying?" she asks, intrigued.

Aunt Lenny opens the jar, gets a pinch, scatters the grains on the surface of the salad. She repeatedly digs a ladle into the salad and turns it to further mix the potato cubes, mayonnaise, cheese, and carrot strips in the bowl. She tastes the delicacy again. "Perfect!" she exclaims and covers the bowl.

"How's that, Lenny, you said Gusting is not coming?" Aunt Rening arranges the plates on one end of the table.

"I dropped by their house in Pampanga the other week," Aunt Lenny says.

"I was on my way home from Manila where I attended a seminar. I just thought of paying Manang Cely a visit after her operation. One of her breasts was removed, as you already know. She was doing fine. But what do you suppose I discovered?"

Mockery begins to take shape on her lips.

Aunt Rening does not notice what Aunt Lenny is suggesting with her lips as she arranges the cups on the table.

"You know how that sister-in-law of ours talks," Aunt Lenny continues. "Everything that pops out in her peanut-sized brain comes out through her mouth."

"Why, what is she complaining of this time?"

"Well, I'm not exaggerating, but this is exactly what she told me," and Aunt Lenny starts to imitate Aunt Cely's manner of speaking. She extends her chin and half-closes her eyes, ".now that that demonyo has sucked everything out of me, my one doodoo is not even there anymore,' and she places her right hand on the left side of her chest where a breast once was, 'he gets another woman for a querida , a slave in bed who wants only his money, so he buys for her a house, jewelry.that man is shameless.at this my age, he has the gall to do that to me? What does he think of me, tanga ? He thinks I wouldn't find out? I'll leave him, that's for sure, I'll go to the States, to be with my own family." Then Aunt Lenny imitates an uncanny manner of crying.

"Poor Cely! What has happened to the rich people on earth?" Aunt Rening is pinning on her dress a fancy brooch with the shape of an orchid.

"I could not tell her this, but I was thinking," Aunt Lenny continues, "what does she have to worry about? She is the legal wife after all. She has everything. She has money, she has a house that is well-furnished, she has toured around the world, she doesn't have to look after her daughter because Tricia can live by herself abroad, she gets the best medical attention she needs, what more does she want? She should thank God she's got a good provider for a husband!"

"Lenny, I can't believe you're telling me this," says Aunt Rening, upset. "Cely certainly deserves kinder words."

"I suppose those two are now living in turmoil" Aunt Lenny sighs in a hushed voice.

Aunt Rening notices three kinds are still playing in the bathroom. "Go get dressed now," she tells them. "We are leaving in a few minutes."

"Strel, take care of your younger brother," says Aunt Lenny.

"Will that Manding be arriving at all? The way it looks." Aunt Rening mutters.

".another broken promises," Aunt Lenny teases.

The scent of ylang-ylang spreads in the air. In a moment, a room opens. Out comes Aunt Meding exuding fragrance, wearing a black satin dress, a white belt with a big buckle, pearl earrings, hair neatly bundled on her head. Her fair complexion shows, her eyes are red, her eyelids swollen. She looks tall and thin, thinner that the first time I saw her on her wedding day.

As she comes to the light in the dining room, she greets, "Merry Christmas! So we're all dressed up and ready," her voice is as always, soft and reserved. She proceeds to the bathroom.

"She must have been crying," Aunt Lenny whispers to Aunt Rening.

When Aunt Meding comes out of the bathroom, she is holding a soap dish and a face towel.

"Did you happen to see a necklace hanging from the faucet?" she asks. "I left it in the bathroom this morning, together with these," and she shows that she is holding. "I do not see it there anymore."

"The kids were all there a minute ago," says Aunt Rening, with a look of concern. "Someone must have taken it for a plaything."

I go to each of the rooms where the kids are. They are wearing pants, powdering their faces, combing their hair, putting on shoes, looking at themselves in the mirror. "Did anyone see a necklace in the bathroom?" I ask.

Back in the sala, I report, "Nobody has seen the necklace, or so everyone says."

Aunt Meding goes to her room. She comes out carrying a white leather bag. Under the long fluorescent lamp which has the brightest light in the house, she brings out all the contents of the bag: a cake powder, a prayer book with stampitas inserted between its pages, a scapular, old receipts, pictures, tablets, seeds, a small purse with colored chicken feathers, folded sheets of paper in a transparent plastic envelope, letters in opened envelopes, a rosary, hairpins, needles, a spool of white sewing thread, a handkerchief. No necklace. She put everything back into the emptied bag.

"Did you find it?" asks Aunt Lenny.

"It's not there either, Auntie," I answer.

"Where is Leoxie? Where is Leoxie?" Aunt Lenny is suddenly frantic. From the sink where she washed her hands, she rushes to their room. "Is Leoxie here?" Her voice is high-pitched now.

"He went out a few minutes ago," I heard Strel say.

"Where did he go?" Aunt Lenny asks.

Nobody answers.

"Robin," Aunt Meding calls her nine-year-old son, her eldest. "Will you, hijo, look for a necklace on the floor in the bathroom?"

The boy, busy putting on a belt, goes.

"Was that the one you showed me just yesterday? The one Manding gave you for an engagement present?"

But Aunt Lenny is not asking Aunt Meding. Maybe, she is only concealing her embarrassment. "Jesus Christ! I should have warned everybody earlier."

But Aunt Meding is just as embarrassed.

"Keep your money, your precious belongings, all of you," says Aunt Lenny. "That son-of-a-bitch steals," she curses. "Things would get lost in the house. The earrings his Daddy gave to me, he brought to the pawnshop. I discovered the loss too late. I wanted to kill that son-of-a-bitch, cut him to pieces. Next thing I'd discover: he is into drugs." Her voice wavers.

Aunt Rening and Mama have come to find out what the commotion is all about.

"Drugs," mutters Aunt Rening. "Drugs," she repeats in frustration.

"No wonder that boy is so thin, and his eyes.I suspected something's the matter with that boy," Mama says.

"Poor boy, he's living in darkness," mutters Aunt Rening.

"That boy will see!" Aunt Lenny threatens.

"When he comes home, he'll see!"

"Never mind, Manang," Aunt Meding consoles Aunt Lenny. "The necklace will come back to me, I know," she assures. "If it's really meant for me, God will bring it back to me."

"And may the angels bring back the boy to the light," says Aunt Rening.

It is thirty minutes to 11:00 when I go back to our room. As I dress up, I hear loud knocking on the main door. I recognize Papa's and Uncle Sebio's voices. They have come from a visit to the parish priest, an old friend. When I get out of the room, Charlie, unkempt and smelling of liquor, is slumped, face downward, on the sofa. He is surrounded with the kids, all well-groomed, laughing at him. Papa is saying they saw him drunk and all alone at the corner store near the church. Uncle Sebio says he was singing a scandalous song. Charlie suddenly turns over and begins to sing out of tune or utter words he can hardly pronounce. The kids snicker. O my Mama/ How could you be so cruel? O my Papa/ What pain must you bear . He repeats. And repeats again, as the kids giggle. She's playing with fire/ Chu-wa-chu-wa/ She's playing with fire Chu-wa-chu-wa .

I find the sight so distasteful I volunteer to guide him to their bedroom. Lola Susing shouldn't see him like this or we'll hear another sermon even before going to church.

Aunt Lenny meets us. "What was the drunkard saying?" she asks.

"Nothing," I say. "He was singing."

Back in our room, I prepare the camera for the family picture. I go back to the sala, open the piano and play "You're All I Want for Christmas." The older kids sing as I play. Mama comes out of the room carrying the gifts she had wrapped. She arranges them under the Christmas tree.

"What are those, Auntie Nena?" the curious kids ask.

Mama does not answer.

I play "Whispering Hope." The kids sing.

Mama announces, "Little children, go get your socks. Put them on the Christmas tree. Santa will give gifts to those who are good." I know Papa had prepared chocolates and candles secretly for the occasion.

The older ones giggle. "I know who Santa Claus is," Strel teases the little ones.

"Oh yeah? So where is he?" The kids laugh and scamper to their rooms. Somebody comes back with a big bag, one with a box, another with an envelope, yet another with a basket.

"Those are too big," Mama smiles. "Where are your socks?"

"We're wearing them, aunt Nena," the kids answer.

"I know where Santa is," Strel teases again. The little boys look at her and make faces at her. "Yes, I can ask him not to give anything to Sweetie and Rupert."

Sweetie and Rupert kick at her and run away. I play "Silent Night." The kids sing again.

Out of her room comes Lola Susing joining in the singing with the Iloko version of the song. She is dressed in a red gown with embroidered piña from her waist to her breast, small red beads on the sleeves, an accent of white feathers on the collar, black lace from her knee to her feet. Her white hair gather to a round bundle at the back of her head. Her sampaloc earrings dangling from her ears are matched by a sampaguita -shaped pendant hanging from her necklace. Her black hair and short height, fair complexion and bluish eyes tell of a mixture of Ibanag and Spanish blood. As she sings, she beats with a fan of red and green feathers. She, the mirror of our past, stuns us all. Her voice gives life before our eyes to the picture of a zarzuela queen in times past. For a while, the kids, as if in worship, stammer with their lyrics as they look at the matriarch walking in precarious steps-which could have been gliding footwork in her prime-to the center of the sala, singing " Naulimek a Rabii ."

When the song is over, I play a birthday song and everybody joins the singing again, clapping cheerfully. At the end of the singing, the aunts and uncles go to kiss Lola Susing. I continue playing but Lola Susing motions me to stop. Lola Susing whispers something to me.

"The superstar has something so say," I announce, I hear "Speech! Speech!" from the audience.

"My beloved children, my apos . how many are you all?" And everyone laughs.

"I must say something to everybody. The Milañoses.where is Manding?"

She looks around. "He has not arrived?, she asks.

"Gusting and Cely, where are they?"

"They might appear when we are all in church," someone answers.

".the Mayos," she continues.

And Papa says loudly, "Everybody present."

".the Marcianos, the Rimorins, where is Charlie?" she looks around again.

"Sleeping," Uncle Sebio says.

"Drunk," one of the kids teases in a whisper.

"Foolish child, why should he be sleeping at this hour? At this hour, redeemers are born," she states heroically.

The older folks get the joke and laugh.

".I must thank you all. And I must take this occasion to tell you, my apos, that it won't be long." and she shifts to the heroic tone again, ".when I pass away into God's paradise. At this hour on this day seventy-five years ago, I was born. Anyone who is born will one day pass away. But before I pass away, I want you to remember one thing. We, your grandfather and I, and your parents, worked hard to keep our family whole and united. We never forgot to pray through many years of hardships and trials.we even went through a horrible war.your grandfather died in that war. We went through many difficulties you never went through. We were poor but we worked hard. And we kept our dignity as human beings, we kept our dignity as a united Milaños family. We trusted God, we trusted ourselves. Now we are proud and happy because we are respectable. People respect us. We must remain respectable. That is very important. All will pass away. The Holy Bible says, 'As there is a time for birth, there is a time for dying.' If we are good in this life, we'll see each other in heaven. So there is only one thing I ask of you: Keep the family together, work hard, respect each other, keep the dignity of the Milaños clan. So let's go to church now to thank God."

Everybody claps. Lola Susing must have known of the preparations for she went towards the Christmas tree and said, "Thanks for these gifts which you," and she looks at Mama and Aunt Rening, "had been wrapping since four days ago. I know everything that you had been doing, what do you think of me?" Beyond, the church bells ring. And as we get out the door, I realize I forgot to take a picture with my camera. I am afraid not only for those who missed out on an important performance but for us all.






























































 

 

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